Chapter 9

By the time Christmas Eve day rolled around, Monica’s guilt was a constant pang in her heart. Andrew, though seemingly perfectly content, looked exhausted and she knew when he was sleeping, it was a light sleep at best and only what his body absolutely needed in order to keep going. He seemed to have aged a few years in the last two weeks and Monica knew it was only going to get worse. At least while she was in the hospital, there were nurses to take care of her, but once she was home, it would be up to Andrew, with help from the Gatlins. It would all put so much on her husband and despite his assurances she hated placing this much responsibility on him. They had always been a team and now, with everything lying on Andrew’s shoulders, she was returning to her thoughts about him needing a break while he could get one. The problem would lie in convincing him of that.

It had been difficult enough to sway Alex to extend the invitation to him to come for Christmas Eve dinner with she and Paul and it had taken much pleading and cajoling to make Alex promise not to bring up any of the presents that she had promised Andrew she would bring on her visit that morning. Her friend had finally agreed however, though begrudgingly and now came the task of persuading Andrew.

"Alex should be here soon," Monica remarked casually as Andrew sat in his usual place beside of her bed, his fingers wrapped around hers, "She said she was coming up today as she is no longer working and her mom wanted to see Matthew for a few hours."

"Yes, angel, I know," He smiled, his thumb running over her hand lightly, "She’s also bringing up all your Christmas presents for me."

She hesitated. Though the conversation had fallen in place exactly the way she wanted it to, she was suddenly uncertain. Looking up at him, however, she traced the dark circles beneath his eyes with her own, and the weariness which was on his face, despite his smile and decided to plunge ahead, "No, she isn’t."

His brow knitted together in confusion, "Of course she is, Monica. Tomorrow is Christmas."

"Yes, but you’ll be bringing the gifts up with you tomorrow on your way back," Monica watched as his eyes widened and she felt even more terrible for the fact that she had schemed and he now knew it, "I want you to go home today, Andrew."

Hurt and stubbornness battled each other for prominence in his green eyes, "Monica…"

"Just listen to me, please? You’ve been here every minute and I love you so much for it, but I’m starting to feel better with the exception of one thing. Worrying about you."

"I’m fine, baby," Andrew replied, though his voice was tight.

"You’re exhausted," She stated flatly, fairly certain he would not try to deny it, "Andrew, this is one of the best hospitals in the country. Have you had any complaints about how they have taken care of me?"

"That’s not the point-."

"No, the point is that once I am no longer here, then it is you who has to take care of me and I want to know that you have had at least one home cooked meal and one good night’s sleep in a real bed before that happens. So with that being said, you are going to have dinner with Paul and Alex tonight and sleep in our bed tonight and then come back and spend Christmas with me," She watched as his jaw tightened and she let go of his hand to touch his face, "Please? It’s what I want most for Christmas. I love you so much and I want you to take care of you for a little while, before you have to take care of me all the time."

He felt completely distressed. He couldn’t imagine leaving her, even if only for a night, "Angel, I love taking care of you."

"I know you do and the reason I know it is because I love taking care of you too, but right now, I can’t do that, at least not by myself. But I can do this. Please, promise me you’ll go? I’ll sleep so much better tonight knowing that someone is taking care of you for a change."

Her dark eyes were pleading and her expression so hopeful. He wanted to be angry, but she was approaching this with the best of intentions and he knew it. He didn’t want to go; couldn’t imagine being able to sleep at all without knowing she was next to him, but he did want to make her happy. "Baby, I don’t want to leave you," he tried one more time to change her mind, knowing it was in vain as her decision had been made.

"And under any other circumstances, I wouldn’t want you to leave. I feel so guilty, Andrew, and it doesn’t matter how many times you tell me not to feel that way, it won’t change it. But knowing you are taking a little time for yourself will at least help." She stroked his cheek lovingly and watched as he closed his eyes.

"All right," He consented after a long silence, though he was nearly shocked to hear himself agreeing. It went against everything he felt and everything he wanted, yet he had seen the worried look in her eyes many times the last few days when she was watching him. Granted, he was tired, but sleep felt like a small sacrifice for being close to her.

"Thank you," Monica breathed out a sigh.

"You do realize you are asking nearly the impossible from me?" Andrew stated softly, wondering how he was ever going to drag himself away.

"I know and I love you for agreeing. It means so much to me, Andrew, and I’ll be just fine."

Despite the cheerful visit with Alex, when it came time to go, the parting was filled with tension and uneasiness. Even Alex was a picture of guilt for playing any part in this, and she found herself wishing she had stuck to her guns when Monica had approached her with the idea. It was more than obvious that Andrew had no real desire to go anyplace and that he was only doing it to make his wife happy.

"You owe me so big," She whispered to the little angel as they prepared to leave, "I feel like a total shit."

Looking at her with guilt-ridden eyes, Monica replied, "I’m sorry, Alex…really I am, but it’s for a good cause. Please see that he relaxes tonight."

Alex nearly rolled her eyes, thinking that Andrew would probably be more stressed out tonight than she had ever seen him before, "I’ll do my best," She settled on instead.

Andrew lingered miserably at his wife’s bedside as Alex moved towards the door, "Baby, are you sure this is what you want?"

"I’m sure," She replied softly, before he bent to kiss her, his lips lingering and when they parted, the tears in his eyes tore at her heart.

"I love you so much, angel. I’ll be back first thing in the morning."

"I love you too," Monica managed to smile what she hoped was a convincing smile and her eyes followed him as he left with Alex. Letting out a sigh, she looked around her now empty room, quickly realizing how small and lonely it had suddenly become. She shook the feeling off, trying to relax in knowing that Andrew would at least have one night of not listening to heart monitors or sleeping in a chair that caused his back to ache. Yes, she would miss him, but as she had told Alex, it was for a good cause.

*****

It was barely ten ‘o clock that night when the little angel was awoken by a terrible pain coursing through her stomach, the intensity of it bringing tears to her eyes. A cry escaped her and for a moment, she had terrible feeling that she was in labor, but a minute later, the pain ended and she forced herself to relax once more. Her heart was pounding and the evidence of that was reflected on her heart monitor, so she breathed in and out slowly, until the beeps slowed back to their normal sound.

Only a fluke, she tried to assure herself as she closed her dark eyes once more, but twenty minutes later, the pain and a fierce need to push was back, though she struggled to keep from obeying what her body was asking of her. Her hand shook as she hit the call button, closing her eyes tearfully against the pain. Now only was the pain horrible, but she was instantly filled with incredible panic, her heart crying out for her husband out of habit, before she reminded herself that he could no longer hear her.

A nurse responded and through tears, Monica explained what had happened. Two minutes later and the nurse returned with Dr. Klein in tow. Though late, the doctor had been making the last of her rounds before retiring for the holiday.

"They feel like contractions, Monica?" She asked as she checked over her patient’s vitals.

"Yes…it feels like she wants out," She explained shakily, trying to catch the breath that the pain had snatched away.

"Okay. Calm down. This is normal and we talked about it. We just need to up the dosage in the terbutaline pump and bring them back under control, as we don’t want your daughter coming into the world quite so early."

"But she’s all right? You can tell she’s all right?"

"Her heart rate is looking fine, Monica. We’ll get an ultrasound in here just to make sure." She picked up the small computerized pump that was attached to Monica’s thigh and made a few adjustments. "Now I’ve just sent a much larger dose of medication into your system, Monica. It should slow things right down."

"Are you sure? Please… Please… Andrew’s not here…" Monica was close to tears and Dr. Klein felt herself getting emotional. "I can’t lose her tonight. I just can’t," the little angel begged.

"I promise you, Monica, we are going to do everything we can. Just try to calm down. This higher dose is probably going to have some side effects."

Monica nodded her understanding, her face filled with fear that she was bravely keeping inside.

"Do you want me to call Andrew for you?" she asked quietly.

Monica’s eyes nearly overflowed just at the mention of his name. This was supposed to be his night off and now this! She didn’t want to call him. She didn’t want to make him come all the way back to the hospital. She let out a long shuddery breath and wiped futilely at her eyes.

"He’s going to want to be here, Monica."

She pressed her lips together stubbornly and shook her head. "No," she managed to get out. "You said the medicine would work. I don’t want to bother him… not tonight. Please… it’s Christmas Eve…"

Dr. Klein shook her own head. "It’s your decision, Monica. I’ll be here for another few hours to make sure that you’re doing okay, then the night nurse will take over."

"I’m sure," Monica replied, slightly stronger.

The doctor gave another nod and then took a seat in what was normally Andrew’s chair. "I’ll just have a seat while we wait for that ultrasound to arrive and the terbutaline to kick in."

Ten minutes later the ultrasound was wheeled in and it was just in time for another contraction from Monica. Dr. Klein quickly went to work, gently pressing the pad against Monica’s stomach, careful of the incision. Monica gritted her teeth against the pressure but then let out a sob of relief when she saw her daughter on the screen, kicking slightly and sucking her thumb. Dr. Klein smiled and released a discreet breath.

"See there? She’s looking just fine, and with the med, that’ll probably be your last contraction."

Dr. Klein was right about the contractions but unfortunately she was also right about the side-effects. Fifteen minutes later Monica was frantically pressing the call button again as she watched her own heart rate sky rocket and she struggled for air. The nurse quickly moved Monica’s bed to a more upright position to help her breathe better and then Dr. Klein was rushing in, lab coat billowing out behind her.

"Can’t… breathe!" Monica gasped, her eyes filled with terror.

"I know, Monica. I know. Try to take shallow breaths… shallow. This is a known side-effect. You may even pass out, but we know what to do. You’re going to be all right."

Monica tried to nod her acceptance, but she couldn’t because suddenly her stomach was revolting and only the fast moving nurse kept her from throwing up all over the bed. The little angel had tears streaming down her face. Surely this couldn’t be normal. She felt like her body was coming apart at the seams and the one thought that kept racing through her mind was how much she wanted Andrew to be holding her and telling her that he loved her. The room began to get dim and she felt the dizziness overpowering her as she fell back against the pillows. She didn’t want to pass out. She was too afraid for that. She didn’t even want to close her eyes. Struggling with every inch of determination she managed to cling to consciousness as the breathlessness subsided to something more manageable while her heart continued to race.

"Is it… is it over?" she pleaded in between shallow panting breaths.

"The drug is still coursing through you, Monica. Hopefully you’ll find it a little easier to breathe now, but the nausea and the heart palpitations are probably going to stay with you for at least a few hours," Dr. Klein replied.

Monica felt her throat tighten just at the doctor’s words, but she kept her expression as neutral as possible, giving a sharp nod instead of speaking.

Dr. Klein pulled the nurse away and gave her a few more instructions before returning to Monica’s side. "I’m going to finish my rounds, Monica. I’ll be in the hospital for another hour at least and will check on you again before I leave."

"Thank you, Doctor," Monica whispered, her hand drifting automatically to her belly. "She thanks you too."

"You’re welcome. Stay strong. I’ll be back in a while." She leaned a little closer before whispering, "I gave Jane Andrew’s number. All you have to do is say the word and she’ll call him."

"No… I’ll be all right," Monica quietly insisted. But thank you."

The next hour seemed like an eternity to Monica as she continued to battle nausea, throwing up everything that was in her stomach and then continuing with painful dry-heaves. Each bout left her gasping for air again and wracked with pain as her already tender stomach muscles were forced into work. She kept a nervous eye on the baby’s heart monitor the whole time, barely noticing that her own was still racy and irregular.

Jane was just taking her vitals again as she tried to close her eyes and relax. She heard the door swing open and didn’t even move, waiting for Dr. Klein to speak.

"Monica… angel… what happened? What’s wrong?" Andrew had taken one look around at the disheveled bedding and the basins lined along the tray table and knew that something was very wrong. One glance at the heart monitors told him how right he was. "Your heart!" he exclaimed, then turned to the nurse. "What’s going on? Why wasn’t I called?"

Jane looked up at Andrew and then glanced at Monica how was now staring wide-eyed at her husband.

"It’s all right, Jane," Monica told her. "Could you…" she didn’t need to finish the sentence. Jane quickly tucked her stethoscope back around her neck and left the couple alone.

"Monica?" Andrew felt his anxiety kick up a notch as he took in her pale complexion and red eyes.

"I’m fine… the baby’s fine…" she told him.

"What happened?"

"I… I started having contractions," she said reluctantly.

"Contractions?!"

"It’s all right. Really, Andrew. Dr. Klein upped the terbutaline and that stopped them."

"But your heart!" he pointed at the still rapidly moving line.

"It’s just a side effect… it will pass… I… I had a few of them…" Monica was battling for control of herself when what she really wanted was to burst into tears and fall into her husband’s arms.

He sat down on the edge of the bed. It was the closest he had been to her since the surgery. "Angel, why didn’t you call me?"

"I… I didn’t want you to have to drive all the way back here," she tried to explain. "This was your one night…"

"Do you think I give a damn about that?" Andrew had to keep himself from shouting. "I couldn’t even think about sleep anyway. All I could think about was you lying here all alone, and I just knew that I had to get back to your side as fast as possible. Monica… I can’t believe you would go through this alone. You don’t ever have to be alone, baby. I am your husband. I love you more than anything else. I care more about you than about my own life…" he was about to continue, but Monica’s tearful sob stopped him.

As gently as he could he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair and kissing her cheek over and over again. The IV pulled at her hand but she didn’t care. She held onto him tightly and let all of her fear and pain spill out.

"I’m sorry!" she cried. "I was so scared! I didn’t know what was happening… I thought I was losing her and you weren’t here and it hurt so much and all I wanted was this… your arms around me… telling me that it would be all right… telling me that you loved me."

"More than life, Monica," he insisted.

"I just wanted to give you one night… just one night!"

"I don’t need any nights away from you, Monica. Please believe me when I tell you that. I sleep better in that chair beside you than I ever could in our bed without you."

"Please don’t let me go," she whispered urgently.

"No, Angel. I won’t."

He shifted slightly, just enough so that he was propped on the bed beside her, one arm beneath her neck, cradling her head, and the other draped across her chest. The awkward position, along with all the wires and tubes, should have made him uncomfortable but for the first time in two weeks he felt whole. He knew that eventually the nurse or doctor would come in and he would get the full story of what had happened, and would probably be asked to move, but at the moment he was perfectly content.

"This feels so right," Monica murmured, feeling her heart begin to slow at long last.

"That’s because it is right, baby. Now and always. Now close your eyes and try to sleep."

"Thank you for not listening to me," she whispered. "Thank you for coming back."

"Nothing could have kept me away," he said with a tender smile.

She slowly closed her eyes and then reached up to grab the hand resting above her belly. Then, with her fingers intertwined with his, she fell asleep.

Andrew was still awake an hour later when Dr. Klein returned and she immediately smiled. Monica was sound asleep, her head resting against Andrew’s shoulder and her patient appeared more content than she had ever seen her in their short time of knowing each other. She’d always had a feeling that there was something special about this couple.

"You do realize that this is frowned upon?" She asked Andrew, raising an eyebrow at him.

He gave her what he hoped was an irresistible smile, "Yes, but you are smiling."

"So I am," She laughed softly as she took a seat in the chair next to the bed, "I’ll let the night nurse know I approve as she is resting well considering all she has been through tonight." Seeing the concern in his eyes, she added, "I suspect you have some questions, Andrew."

"Just a few," He responded seriously, gazing down at his sleeping wife, "What happened tonight? She said she had contractions and I came in here and her heart was racing…"

"The increase in medication caused the increased heart rate, shortness of breath as well as the nausea and vomiting. They are normal side effects, Andrew, but never pleasant and they gave her quite a scare. I tried to persuade her to let us call you, but she was determined that you not be bothered tonight."

"As if she could ever be a bother to me," Andrew replied with a sad shake of his head. His heart ached at thinking of what she had gone through before he had arrived, "Could this happen again?"

"It could, but we’ll pray that it doesn’t," Dr. Klein explained, "We increased her fluids so she wouldn’t dehydrate, but you’ll want to make certain she eats breakfast in the morning."

He was quiet for a moment. This was the first and probably only time he would have to talk to her without Monica weighing every word that was said and he wanted to take advantage of it, "The bed rest…how strict?"

"Bathroom and shower privileges, Andrew. No more. This is a high risk pregnancy and if Monica delivers too early, it is possible the baby won’t survive."

He met his eyes firmly with hers, "I want you to be honest with me, doctor. I need to know in order to prepare myself to be able to help Monica should anything go wrong. The baby’s chances…what are we looking at here?"

But she was already shaking her head, "It’s a day by day scenario, Andrew. I know that isn’t the answer you wanted, but it is the truth. Right now, both mother and child are doing well, despite the scare earlier tonight, but after fetal surgery, contractions are a relatively sure thing. Monica could deliver early and your daughter be just fine, but we want to get her as close to the due date as we can. Your wife’s road the next few weeks will not be easy, but I have complete faith you two can see it through. There have been many couples in the past that I worried about their ability to go through such a difficult time. You and Monica are not one of those couples."

"No. We’re not," He admitted with absolute certainty. Over the years they had learned to carry each other when it was necessary and protecting her was second nature to him. He would be strong enough for both of them if need be, "Thank you for your honesty. Now go home and enjoy your holiday," They exchanged a smile before he added, "And thank you for being here for her tonight. I knew she was in good hands."

"Merry Christmas, Andrew," Dr. Klein told him as she stood up and walked to the door, "And I know I leave her in good hands."

"Merry Christmas."

*****

Monica awoke, but elected to keep her eyes closed. She could feel the warmth of Andrew’s body and was eternally grateful that she was still in his arms. It was the closest she had felt to home in close to two weeks. She drew in a deep breath and flinched from not only the pain of the incision but from very sore stomach muscles from her ordeal last night, but at least her body felt more normal today.

She was nearly ready to drift back off to sleep when she felt the baby moving within her and a slow smile spread across her face. Their daughter was healing.

"I think she is saying ‘Merry Christmas, mama’," Andrew whispered and smiled when she turned her head towards him and smiled, "And so am I, baby."

"Merry Christmas to you too," Monica replied softly, looking up and seeing a mischievous glint in his loving, green eyes. Her brow crinkled in confusion before a twinkle in the corner of the room caught her eye and she turned her head and gasped.

A small Christmas tree was set up in the corner, complete with white lights and ornaments of varying shapes and sizes. A beautiful angel topped the tree, holding a candle, and a white dove was resting on her arm. As Monica’s tear-filled eyes lowered she could see the gifts nestled beneath, ones she recognized as wrapping for him and others she had never seen before.

"You did all this?" Her voice trembled as her hand moved to cover her mouth to ward off a sob.

"I had a little help from some of your nurses, angel," Andrew confessed, pleased that his gift had touched her so deeply, though it briefly turned to concern when she started to cry, "Baby? What is it?"

She managed a smile through her tears, "It’s just everything…loving you so much…finally being in your arms again. Andrew, with those two things, I have all I could ever want for Christmas."

"So do I, Monica," He replied, before he kissed her softly, reluctant to move. Jane had rearranged a few things last night before he had fallen asleep in order to allow him to be more comfortable, not that it had been necessary. Now that he had the room to hold his wife close and after two weeks, he was in no hurry to break the connection. "How are you feeling this morning, baby?"

"Better than last night," She admitted, a tiny shudder going through her at the thought of the horrors of what had happened before Andrew had arrived, "Today, I’m just a little sore."

"I’m sorry I wasn’t here, sweetheart," He pressed his lips to her forehead and watched as she closed her eyes peacefully.

"Me too, though I’m not completely sorry you missed all of it," She knew he would have felt helpless when she had been getting so sick and had so much trouble catching her breath, though he probably would have calmed her down considerably. "I just love you so much for coming back… I don’t know what I was thinking."

"You were thinking the way you always think, Monica," Andrew stated softly, his hand resting against her face, "You were thinking about everyone else more than you think about yourself. While I love you for it, with me, it just isn’t necessary as all I need out of this life is being with you."

"Yeah, I guess I need to stop doin’ that, huh?" she said with a little smirk.

"I don’t think you could," Andrew teased. "But maybe for the next few months you could just concentrate on you."

"Oh, fine," she gave a pout that didn’t reach to her still shining eyes.

"Dr. Klein made me promise to get you to eat breakfast, but how would you like to start opening presents first?"

Monica’s eyes opened wider in glee. Barely able to move, still in pain and still anxious about the baby, but she was nevertheless excited, especially to see Andrew’s expression when he opened his presents.

"Will you go first?" she asked eagerly.

Andrew chuckled as he very gently disentangled himself. Letting go of her was hard but he was rather eager to watch her open her gifts as well. The setting was nothing like either of them wanted, but this ritual, and the celebration of Christ’s birth, seemed to ground them both. It made a sterile hospital room seem more like a home, at least for the time being.

The first few gifts were ordinary enough, books and CD’s, a thin gold bracelet for Monica and a digital camera for Andrew. They oohed and aahed appropriately, but there was a spark in the room that hinted at the fact that the best was yet to come. Finally there were only two presents left, a large flat box and a smaller one. Andrew handed the small one to Monica and sat back down in his chair, grinning at her.

"Go on," he urged, "open it up."

Monica laughed lightly, still careful of her stomach. Her husband looked like an overgrown kid. "No, you first," she insisted, motioning to the gift he held.

"Okay, okay, me first," he agreed. Still smiling, he tore off the bright green paper, but not before removing the bow and placing it atop Monica’s head.

She rolled her eyes playfully and he laughed, then lifted the top off the box. His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked inside. Lying in the box was a large photo album, with a black cover and brass corners. Placed in the center of the cover was a brass plate engraved M & A: Our History. Andrew raised one eyebrow at her and she grinned.

"Well aren’t you going to look at it?" she asked.

He turned back to the book and lifted it carefully from it’s tissue paper bed, then opened the cover and had to suck in a breath at what he saw. He remembered the day. He remembered the smell of the air, and the way the sun glinted off her hair, and the way the colors all seemed brighter when she came into view. What he didn’t remember was anyone taking a picture of the moment when he and Monica just met.

"Where… where did you get this?" he asked.

She let out a tiny smile. "I had a little help, she admitted, then glanced upwards.

Andrew looked down again and read the small, neat script beneath the picture. Written by Monica it told exactly what she had been thinking on that day, and what she thought about it all now. He started flipping through the pages and felt his heart swell as he saw their relationship played out before him on the pages. Picture after picture, word after word, her love shone through and went straight to his very soul. This was the present. The one she had been so desperate to get him.

"Monica…" he looked up at her and his eyes were shining. "This… I…" He shook his head. "I don’t even have words…"

There were tears standing in her eyes but she smiled happily. "I’m so glad," she replied softly. "I was hoping you would feel that way."

"I think this is the best present you have ever given me," he said, then patted her stomach, "well, second best."

He flipped through a few more pages, then stopped as he settled on one that seemed to have been taken the day after she had been raped. She was asleep at the farm and he was sitting in the chair next to the bed, her small hand wrapped within both of his. Next to the picture she had written out everything that she felt every time she woke to find him next to her. How he felt like her life-line during that time, the only thing in the world that made sense to her. How the feeling of his hand on hers made her feel as if she could make it through another day. His throat was getting tight and he reached out and grabbed her hand. Just knowing all the emotions that had run through her as she was writing everything down put him in awe at the depth of her love. His eyes met hers but he couldn’t even speak.

"I wanted to make sure that you knew everything… that you had it all in front of you," Monica explained. "In case…"

"In case you died," he finished.

She nodded mutely. Then said, "I wanted to make sure that you knew… just how much I love you… how much I’ll always love you… even if something tears us apart, I’ll still be loving you and just waiting for us to be brought back together again." She was whispering and a few tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes.

Andrew instantly wiped them away and then kissed her, a long but gentle kiss, that felt like it defined the complete and eternal devotion between them. "I’ll never forget that," he told her as he pulled away and stroked the side of her face, "and I will treasure this forever."

Monica smiled and squeezed his hand, feeling so happy that the gift that had taken her so long to think of really had been the perfect one. After another moment of content silence, she at last looked down at the box lying on her lap.

"I suppose you want me to open this?" she asked with a grin.

"Well, yes, sooner or later," he joked, and less than a second later she had torn off the paper and tossed the lid to the side.

Her face held an extremely puzzled expression and she lifted up the contents and dangled it from her finger. It was a red, leather dog collar and she turned to Andrew with her eyebrows knit together.

"I know I’ve seen some young people wearing these, but it really isn’t me," she said slowly.

Andrew’s eyes widened right before he began laughing. He leaned forward and took it out of her hands. "It isn’t for you, Monica," he said with a smile. "It’s for the little golden retriever puppy who is right now probably asleep on our bed."

"A puppy?" Monica exclaimed. "You got me a puppy?"

Andrew was back to grinning from ear to ear. "A sweet little girl who will just love being your constant companion."

"Oh Andrew!" She wanted to throw her arms around him but settled for just squeezing his hand as hard as she could. "Does she have a name? How old is she? Did you bring a picture?"

"No, twelve weeks, and Alex promised to take one this morning," Andrew laughed.

She was practically bouncing in her bed and she grinned at him happily. "Now I just have to get out of here soon. I need to get home to her!"

*****

He smiled, completely pleased that she was so delighted with his gift. He had been torn about it when Mike from he and Paul’s unit had approached him. Mike’s purebred golden had five puppies and he was trying to find homes for them. At first, he had said "No", but once everything had started happening with Monica and the baby, he had leaned towards changing his mind. His little wife being on bedrest was going to leave her feeling bored and a puppy would give her company and something to mother in the weeks that lied ahead. Still he had been uncertain. A rambunctious puppy was probably not a good idea after surgery, but he had stopped by to see the pups anyway and when the gentle little female puppy had nestled into his arms, he had been sold on the idea.

"I thought she was all that was lacking from our little family," Andrew explained with a grin.

Monica felt tears prick the backs of her eyes. With his gift, he had expressed his certainty to her that all would be well with her pregnancy and their daughter and that they would be staying here on earth for quite some time. His optimistic outlook went straight to her heart, "Thank you. She’s perfect and so are you."

"Angel, you haven’t even seen her yet," He chuckled.

"No, but you have impeccable taste," She gave a quirky grin as she winked at him, "After all, you love me."

Andrew smiled and moved to kiss her softly once more, "With all my heart."

*****

"I would have never guessed that Christmas paper was quite so fascinating," Alex remarked with a roll of her eyes as she and Paul watched and helped Matthew "open" his gifts. But after all the toy store shopping amongst frenzied parents, their son was much more interested in the shiny, crinkly paper then what was actually in the boxes.

Paul chuckled as he sat on the floor across from them, snapping picture after picture and laughing when Alex put their son in his new Exer-saucer and gave him a little spin that made him giggle. His wife then looked pleased as Matthew started pulling and tugging at the various objects that surrounded him and how he realized that his seat spun around as well, "Looks like Santa found a winner."

She giggled and then scooted closer to her husband, "I suppose we should be thankful. In a few years he’ll be waking us up at five in the morning to come down and see what Santa left for him."

He laid down the camera and wrapped his arms around her, "I’m thankful anyway, baby, for you and for Matthew. This Christmas seems nearly perfect."

Alex knew that the "nearly" had everything to do with their best friends spending the holiday in a hospital room as she felt the same way and was anxious to drive up to see them later. "I’m thankful for both of you too," she replied, turning her head to kiss him soundly, "Having Matthew this year makes Christmas different…a wonderful different. Ya know?"

"Yep, I know," He pulled her closer as they watched their son, spinning one of the toys on the saucer around, his chubby little hands still a bit clumsy.

"I hope Andrew went back to the hospital early," She remarked with a quiet sigh, "He didn’t really seem like he wanted to be here last night."

"I think I can almost guarantee that he left here and went back to Baltimore," Her husband assured her, watching as she turned surprised eyes to him, "I know the look in his eyes well, sweetheart. He wasn’t about to stay away."

She seemed to relax a bit more with those words as she smiled, "You’re probably right. Sooo… can we open presents now?"

Paul laughed at the childlike excitement that was suddenly in her eyes, "That was a fast switch from concern to greed," He teased her lightly.

Delivering a punch to his arm, she managed to look indignant, "I like watching you open your presents, I’ll have you know!"

"Perhaps, but all the while what you are really wondering is what is in your pretty packages," He moved before she could deliver another blow, both of them laughing.

The exchange began, with each of them taking turns, gift for gift, and allowing Matthew to help with the tearing of the paper, much to his delight. There were staple gifts; new shirts and ties for Paul, a new sewing basket for Alex and when she opened a slinky negligee that left nothing to the imagination she raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"I don’t remember buying this, but I could swear it is for you," She grinned at him, enjoying the sound of his laughter.

"We’ll just leave it as that one is for both of us, as I do believe you will benefit from it as well," He gave his tongue a little suggestive flick and watched as a blush colored her cheeks. He then reached for a small gift and handed it to her, "This one, babe, is all for you," He assured her, sitting back to watch her contentedly.

The box was very small, and she looked at him expectantly, "Nipple clamps to go with the nightie?"

"You wish," He retorted as she laughed and then began tearing the paper from the box. He loved watching her blue eyes dancing with excitement and he grinned as they widened as she opened the box.

"Paul…" Alex blinked back tears as she removed the gold ring from the box. The setting was three different colored stones that sparkled as brightly as the lights from the tree.

Moving over next to her, Paul wrapped his arms around her and pointed to the stones to the right and the left, "Our birthstones and the one in the middle is Matthew’s."

"It’s beautiful," She whispered as he took it from her and slipped it onto her right ring finger, "I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby," Paul replied, tilting her head to kiss her deeply. When their lips parted, her eyes were shining, "The best part is that the jeweler can add more stones if need be."

Hearing what he was hinting at, she looked deeply into his eyes, "I thought you were worried about me having more babies."

"I was…and in light of all that has happened, I still am. But you were right. We can’t live our lives in fear of what could happen." His eyes traveled over to their son and he felt moisture in his eyes, "I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world, even if we had it to do all over again and I knew your pregnancy wouldn’t be smooth sailing, I wouldn’t trade him. Besides, you were born to be a mother, sweetheart. I’ve watched you mother everything from the horses, to an angel, to Matthew," Paul smiled down at her, knowing she had been uncertain about leaving her career with the bureau, "If I haven’t told you before, I’m thrilled that you left the FBI to stay home with him. Though I’ll miss seeing you everyday at work, it just feels right to me that our son be with you the majority of the time. I know it was a hard decision to make, but I’m proud of you, baby."

Alex stifled a little sob as she hugged him tightly, "It means so much to me to hear you say that, Paul."

"It’s the truth," He replied softly as he kissed away her tears.

She kissed him and then reached for a gift in his pile, "That brings me to this gift then. In light of what you just said, now seems very appropriate."

He grinned and eagerly tore off the paper, revealing a computer camera, immediately knowing what she had been thinking. "Alex…"

"You just download the software at work and then you can see what is going on here during the day when you are in your office," She explained, watching his expression, "That way, if Matthew does something new, you can share it with us too. I don’t want you missing out."

Her thoughtfulness touched him deeply as he moved his hand to her cheek, "Thank you, Alex. It’s perfect and now I don’t have to miss you both so much." He kissed her again, but it was interrupted but an impatient yip from the kitchen that brought Alex to her feet immediately.

"Good heavens, here you are telling me how I mother everything and I forgot that we are puppy sitting until Monica is released from the hospital! Get your camera ready. I promised Andrew pictures."

Paul laughed as she raced into the kitchen returning with the soft, light golden puppy leading the way. She immediately shuffled her nose through the wrapping paper and then flopped down on it, her tail wagging happily for a moment as Paul snapped pictures with the digital camera that he could print out before they drove to Baltimore this afternoon. The pup then spotted Matthew and trotted over to gently nose at his hand and the Gatlins laughed when Matthew squealed with pleasure.

Sitting back down on the floor on Paul’s lap, Alex grinned, watching the puppy show the utmost patience, even when their son grabbed at her tail happily, "You know, Mike still has puppies left…"

Chapter 10

Getting to the hospital took rather longer than anticipated. First there was the showering, which, contrary to Paul’s prediction, was not made faster by sharing. Then there was the dressing of ‘the boy’. Alex insisted that he had to look festive and went through three outfits before she finally found one that met her approval and still fit. Finally, there was the issue of the puppy. Alex hated the idea of leaving her in a crate, but Paul said that she would hate it even more if she came home to a destroyed kitchen. By the time they finally got on the road it might have been expected for them to be a bit snappy and short with one another, but instead they set out after a short kiss, brought on by the mistletoe that Paul had hung from the rear view mirror.

It was close to noon when they pulled up, with Christmas carols from the radio echoing through the car. Paul dropped Alex and Matthew at the door and then went to find a parking space. A light snow was beginning to fall and the baby looked at it in wonder, reaching out to try to catch the flakes, and then giggling when he actually succeeded. Alex watched him with new eyes, taking in every movement and sound. These were exactly the kinds of moments she had been afraid of missing.

"Hey, why aren’t you inside?" Paul asked as he jogged up the steps, a shopping bag full of presents in his hand.

"Matthew was enjoying the snow," she replied with a grin, and Paul smiled right back, then tickled his son under the chin.

"Now, now, little man, we don’t want Mama catching cold, now do we?" he asked, then draped one arm around Alex’s shoulders and guided them all through the door.

Monica’s room was on the eighth floor and Paul held his wife’s hand as they waited for the elevator to arrive. Alex looked over at him in surprise as he squeezed it gently.

"Did you think I didn’t notice that you always take the stairs at the Bureau?" he asked.

She gave a slight shrug, but he was right. She always said it was because taking the stairs was good exercise, but the truth was that she had developed a bit of a fear of elevators ever since the terrorist attack on the FBI. They had been to visit Monica in the hospital twice before, but each time she had convinced him to stop at the gift shop and then run up the stairs ahead of him.

"I…"

He stopped her with a gentle kiss. "Sweetheart, you don’t have to explain."

Her eyes shone and she looked at him tenderly. "I love you so much, Paul," she said softly.

He pinched her cheek lightly and grinned impishly. "I know ya do," he replied, which got her laughing just as the elevator arrived.

Thankfully there were only two stops on the way up, and then Alex was able to let out a big sigh of relief as she stepped out and waited for her stomach to catch up to her. Matthew, on the other hand, seemed amazed by the whole thing, and his eyes grew huge as he looked around. Paul laughed and pointed at him.

"He looks like he thinks we just got transported to another world," he joked.

"Well I guess from his perspective we did!" Alex used her free hand to tickle his round little belly, and his laughter carried down the hall, alerting Monica to their presence before they even arrived at her room.

The door was already ajar and Paul pushed it open with his best Santa Claus impersonation. "Ho, ho ho!"

Monica smiled. "I told Andrew that I heard you coming!"

"Well you heard one of us anyway," Alex said as she pointed at the tiny culprit.

As soon as he saw Monica, the baby started reaching out to her. "Looks like someone’s missed you," Andrew said.

"I’d let you hold him, but…"

"I know. I’m not exactly up for that yet," Monica agreed. "But maybe you could just set him here beside me? I promise not to let him roll off."

Alex laughed at the serious expression on her friend’s face. "Well I didn’t think you would! But are you sure? I don’t want him to hurt you."

"Really. All the tubes are on the other side so he’ll be fine."

A minute later and Matthew was settled in beside the angel, looking very content as he played with her fingers. Monica was beaming and Andrew couldn’t have been happier. Only Alex seemed to guess that something had happened during the night.

"You look a little pale, Monica. Did you eat breakfast?"

She nodded. "Andrew here insisted," she replied.

Paul piped up, "See, I told you he’d never be able to spend the night away."

Monica looked at him ruefully. "Yes, I seem to be the only one who thought that was a good idea."

Andrew laughed at her expression and then gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Well, lesson learned. From now on, there will be no kicking out of the husband."

Looking at the two of them, Alex still thought that there was more to the story but decided that it would save for when she could get Monica alone. There were still presents to unwrap and pictures to show.

As if reading her mind, Monica looked up hopefully, her dark eyes dancing happily, "Did you bring pictures of my puppy?"

Paul laughed and searched through one of the bags to pull out the pictures he had printed out on the computer, "As a matter of fact, we did, honey and she kept us amused all morning."

Monica took them from him anxiously and her face lit up like that of a child, "Oh! She’s adorable! Is she soft? She looks so soft!"

"Very soft," Alex smiled, watching as Andrew wrapped his arm around his wife’s shoulders and kissed the top of her head, "And very sweet. I think my son is in love with her as well."

"I can’t wait to meet her," She looked up at her husband and smiled.

"A name would be most helpful to the people who are puppy sitting for you," Paul remarked with a grin, "Or she is going to think her name is ‘hey’ by the time you two are introduced."

"Hmm," The little angel leaned her head back against her pillows, careful to keep one hand on Matthew. She gazed at the picture of the puppy for a moment and then looked up at Andrew once more, "Hope." She said simply, knowing that Andrew knew the deeper meaning behind her Christmas present.

"I think that is perfect, baby," He replied, watching her with tender eyes.

"Hope it is then," Paul affirmed with a smile, "Now, before we get the festivities underway, I could use a cup of coffee. Someone had me up at the crack of dawn today."

Alex giggled and a slight blush colored her cheeks, "That would be me. You and Andrew go. It will give us girls a chance to catch up."

Andrew looked a bit hesitant to leave his wife, thus confirming to Alex that something more had definitely happened, but she was quick to reassure him, "I’ll take good care of her, Andrew. I promise."

He nodded his head and then leaned down to kiss his wife, "I won’t be long, angel."

As he followed Paul from the room, Alex turned her attention to her friend as she took the chair next to the bed, "So, how are you feeling? I take it Andrew came back early."

"Last night actually," Monica replied softly, seeing the serious expression on Alex’s face, "I started having contractions.."

Drawing in a sharp breath, Alex reached for her hand, "Oh sweetie…"

"It was okay," She assured her, "Dr. Klein upped the medication and it stopped them, but the side affects were a little scary. Andrew got here on the tail end of it all and it shook him up, of course."

"I’m sure it did! But the baby is okay?"

"Yes," Her hand went instinctively to her belly, "She’s been moving around a good bit today, so I’d say she is getting better."

"And what if you start having contractions when you get home?"

"I’ll be able to increase my dosage, though I may need help afterwards," She knew she had to prepare her friend as Alex would be her other caregiver when Andrew returned to work, "It makes me pretty sick, Alex. Worse than any morning sickness I experienced and I got short of breath because of the increase in heart rate."

Alex leaned back in her chair, preparing to steel herself in the event it happened on her watch. She could only hope that she could manage to keep calm in the face of Monica’s distress, but she had her doubts. The little angel was family to her and to Paul and even Matthew adored her and the thought of seeing her in such physical trauma was nearly more than she could take.

"Hopefully, it won’t happen again, Alex," Monica offered, sensing the worry that was coming off her friend in waves.

"I don’t know how you can be so calm, honey. You must have been terrified last night."

"I was, but it is over now and the baby is fine and Andrew is here, so my prayers were answered.," She smiled and gave Alex’s hand a squeeze, "And today is Christmas and you and Paul are here and this little guy too," She tickled Matthew gently, loving the giggles that escaped him, "Andrew and I are very blessed, Alex."

Blinking back tears, Alex smiled, "You’re not the only one, Monica," She replied gently. No. She already knew that anyone who knew the angel was more than blessed by her love, patience and selfless nature and Alex would continue to pray that her friend be blessed by a perfect little daughter.

*****

It was the day before New Year’s Eve that Andrew pulled up in the driveway of their house and looked over at his wife. It was obvious that the drive had tired her, but she was still smiling happily.

"It is so good to be home," Monica whispered, feeling the presence of tears in her eyes. Though she knew she was going to be more or less confined to their bedroom, there would be no beeps or vital signs being taken in the middle of the night. Most importantly, she would be able to fall asleep in Andrew’s arms every evening without him having to contort around wires and tubes.

"It’s good to have you home, baby," He replied as he pulled into the garage and shut down the engine, "Stay put, I’ll come around for you."

She nodded her head, not thinking it was completely necessary for him to carry her, but on second thought, she had a feeling her legs were too weak to make it very far after two weeks in bed. So she held off any argument as Andrew carefully lifted her into his arms and in turn, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, "Thank you for taking such good care of me."

"You have no idea what a pleasure that is, angel," He replied as he opened the door, smiling as he watched her look around as if seeing the house for the first time.

"I know I should rest, but I want a shower first…a real shower."

Andrew chuckled as he carried her upstairs, "Sponge baths just not getting it for you, eh?"

She made a face and he laughed, feeling the thrill of delight at having her home again. As he carried her into their bedroom, their eyes both widened, before he laughed again and shook his head, "Looks like the work of a couple of Gatlins." He surmised as he gently sat his wife down on the edge of the bed.

There were fresh flowers on the dresser as well as on the window sill, one from Paul and Alex and the other from Pastor Ray and the station crew. Alex had already moved her sewing machine into the room on a table that also contained a box of fabrics and supplies ,and the nightstand had been rearranged and there was a plastic file with an assortment of magazines from "Good Housekeeping" to "Parenting", as well as a selection of Monica’s favorite CDs and a CD player. In the corner of the room there was a small Christmas tree, much like the one Andrew had set up for her in the hospital. A basket near the bed contained puppy toys for Hope and Lucy’s little cat bed was set up in another corner, near Matthew’s walker and swing.

The outpouring of love that the gesture contained caused Monica’s eyes to fill with tears and she buried her face against Andrew’s chest to try to ward off a sob.

"They love you, angel," He whispered softly to her, his hand running through her hair, before he reached for the box that was lying on the bed, "and so do I."

She looked up as he handed her the box and she wiped at her eyes before removing the lid, revealing a beautiful, flannel maternity nightgown, with delicate lace trim at the neckline and the sleeves. "Andrew…"

"I know you hated the ones you found last month, so I enlisted the help of Alex and her sewing capabilities," He grinned, seeing the happy tears that played in her dark eyes.

"I love it. I can’t wait to put it on."

Andrew kissed her on the forehead and took the box from her hands. "But not ‘til after your shower, right?"

"Right," she agreed, nodding vigorously.

"Okay then, let’s get that taken care of."

"I think I can walk that far," Monica said as he started to lift her up and he looked at her carefully as he pulled back. "Really. I need to do a little walking. Alex won’t be able to carry me, and I just can’t let myself get that weak," she insisted.

"All right, but let’s take it nice and slow." He gave her his hand to help her to her feet and she leaned heavily on him as she made her way to the adjoining bathroom. "Of course you realize that I’m not going to let you shower alone," he said as he pulled back the shower curtain.

"I thought as much," she replied, then gave him a look that most closely resembled a leer.

"Monica!" Andrew exclaimed with a laugh. "There’ll be none of that!"

"I know," she said with a wink, "but it will just be so wonderful to be that close to you again."

Andrew pulled in a sharp breath as he unbuttoned her blouse and then her bra and saw her revealed for the first time in two weeks. "Yes," he said lowly, "I know just what you mean."

She grimaced as he ran one careful finger over the healing incision. She moved her hands to cover it but he quickly grabbed them and pulled them away.

"Stop looking," she said as she struggled to free one hand. "It’s ugly… maybe in a few months… Dr. Klein said it would get smaller…"

He looked her straight in the eye and then bent his head to kiss the center of the scar tenderly. "This mark is a sign of your love and willingness to sacrifice for our little girl. So don’t tell me not to touch it. It’s like a visible part of the most giving part of your soul."

Monica looked at him with some skepticism, and he cupped the side of her face. "It’s the truth, baby," he told her, and then without saying another word he helped her slip out of the rest of her clothes.

There was a small padded bench next to the tub and it proved the perfect spot for Monica to sit while Andrew adjusted the water temperature and then quickly undressed himself.

"All set?" she asked after watching him check the water for the fifth time.

"I think so, but if it’s too hot, you let me know."

He carefully unhooked the terbutaline pump and set it down on the counter before helping her to her feet again. Then he stepped into the tub and held out both hands to steady her as she joined him. Her sigh of relief and contentment was almost a moan and he smiled and directed the showerhead slightly lower so that it was striking the back of her head and wetting down her hair. Her eyes were closed, but they opened as soon as her husbands strong hands started rubbing one of her mesh sponges over her shoulders and down her arms.

"I could do that," she said, but the look on his face told her just how much he was enjoying this closeness.

She rested her hands against his chest, feeling his breathing and heartbeat beneath her palms. What she longed to do was stroke up and down the hard muscles, but she knew that would only be a tease to them both. Instead she took up another sponge and gently mirrored what he was doing to her. It should have been impossibly and frustratingly arousing, but somehow what they felt was just the purity of their shared love.

"Okay, time for your hair," Andrew said, his voice husky, not with desire but with emotion.

Monica carefully turned around and bowed her head, treasuring every touch of his hands. It was over far too soon, and then he was reaching around her to turn off the water. She turned back around and draped her arms around his neck, staring up into his deep green eyes.

"Out of all the showers we’ve taken together," she said, "I think that this one now rates as the best."

Andrew smiled and quickly wrapped a towel around her. "I think so too, baby. Happy homecoming."

*****

This wasn’t working. It was supposed to work this time. The last time it hadn’t but that one had been a bitch. She’d forced him to take more drastic action and even then she had pretended not to notice. This one was supposed to be different. He watched from across the street as she entered her house. A flicker of light and she was in the kitchen. With his binoculars he could see her every move. She set the groceries down and then glanced dismissively at the rose in her other hand. A second later and she was kicking the trashcan open and throwing it away. No, this definitely wasn’t working. It was a shame. He had thought she might be right. He wasn’t in the mood to bother with warnings this time. He reached over to the seat next to him and grabbed the thick nylon rope. No. He already had another one in mind. But first he had to get rid of this one, and if she wasn’t going to be nice about it then neither was he.

*****

Monica was just waking up from a nap when Paul and Alex arrived with Matthew and Hope in tow. The angel wouldn’t have thought that a drive and a shower would have tired her out so much, but by the time she had slipped on the pretty new nightgown and Andrew had dried her hair for her, she had barely been able to keep her eyes open. Her husband had joined her in bed and for the first time in two weeks, she had been able to fall asleep in complete peace, her head resting against his heart. Yes, she was definitely home.

Andrew had gone to answer the door and when the Gatlins walked into the bedroom a few minutes later, Monica’s eyes were shining with gratitude, "I can’t thank you both enough for doing all this," She gestured to the room with her hand.

"Aw, it was nothing, honey," Paul grinned as he ducked his head to kiss her cheek, "We’re just so glad to have you home."

"It’s good to be home, but you both helped make it even more special."

"We’d do anything for you and Andrew, you know that," Alex replied, plopping Matthew in his swing before sitting down on the edge of the bed, "How are you feeling?"

"Good," Monica replied with a little grin, "In a week or so that answer may change to ‘stir crazy’ but I’m taking it one day at a time."

"Sounds like a plan," Paul looked her up and down, deciding she definitely looked better than she had on Christmas day.

Before anything else could be said, Andrew walked in the bedroom door, the small golden puppy in his arms. He grinned widely, watching how Monica’s dark eyes lit up, "Someone has been waiting to meet you, angel."

"Oh! She’s beautiful!" The little angel cried out as Andrew carefully placed Hope on the bed, watching her a little warily, for fear she would get rambunctious and hurt his wife accidentally.

But he needn’t have worried. With her tail wagging happily, Hope trotted over to Monica, who reached out a hand to touch the soft furry bundle. Seeming to sense she needed to be gentle, the puppy gave the angel’s hand a little lick in greeting and then laid down next to her, adoring brown eyes gazing up at her new mother.

"Oh, little Hope, you are such a sweet little girl," Monica crooned to her, as she stroked the pup tenderly, "Andrew, she’s perfect…just perfect."

"I’m glad you like her, baby," He replied, taking a seat on the other side of the bed next to her.

"Like her? I love her!" She was unable to take her eyes from the little dog.

"Well, Andrew, I hope you’re happy," Paul remarked with a roll of his eyes, "All I’ve heard the last week is how badly Matthew needs a puppy."

"Well, he does, Paul," Alex argued, "Every little boy needs a puppy."

"Every little boy, or every female who just so happens to think that they are cute?" He countered with a grin, "Be honest, baby. You’re the one who wants the puppy."

She tried to look indignant, but was unable to hide a little grin, "Well, maybe just a little tiny bit."

They all laughed and amidst it all, Paul’s cell phone rang. A hush fell over the room as he answered and listened to the voice on the other end.

"Damnit! Okay, I’m on my way."

"Honey?" Alex looked worried as he flipped the phone closed.

"Our strangler got another one…right in her home this time. I’m going to have to get over there so hopefully I won’t have to work all day tomorrow," He had planned on New Years Eve at home or celebrating here with his family and friends. Now that plan was blown to hell.

Monica looked over at her husband and swallowed hard, "Andrew, you should go with him. Alex will stay here with me and then maybe you both can get done today what needs to be done."

He looked torn. He had just gotten her home and back to himself, but he knew what she was thinking as he was thinking it too. Paul and Alex had done so much for them lately, and doing his job was really the least he could do in return, "Are you sure, angel?"

"Andrew, no," Paul objected, shaking his head, "You two just got home…"

"But with both of us, Paul, you shouldn’t have to work tomorrow. Alex will take good care of Monica."

"The best," Alex assured him, though she didn’t miss the worried look in Monica’s eyes that she was trying to hide.

Paul sighed and his shoulders sagged slightly. He didn’t want to be going out on his vacation, yet alone dragging Andrew along with him, but there was no denying that he could use his partner’s take on things, "Only if you are absolutely certain, Monica."

As Andrew reached for her hand, she nodded her head, "It’s okay, Paul. You’ve been more than liberal with all the time Andrew has taken off to be with me."

"Don’t give me that crap, honey. He was right where he needed to be."

"I’ll be back as soon as I can, baby," Andrew told her softly as he ran his thumb over her hand.

"I know, and don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine."

"I always worry about you, sweetheart."

"I know that too." Monica smiled lovingly at him and he leaned over to kiss her softly, "Be careful. Both of you."

"I guess now I am truly the wife of a federal agent," Alex mused after Paul had kissed her.

"You always were, Alex," He replied softly, but he knew exactly what it was she meant.

Chapter 11

He was escalating. That much was obvious as soon as they walked into Linda Holtz’s apartment. The trail of evidence started at the front door and led straight back to her bedroom. A tipped over vase in the hallway, a scratch along the wall, and a door ripped almost off its hinges.

Andrew always tried to distance himself, but it was difficult. He was supposed to see death as a passage to something far better, but that was hard to remember when staring down at a cold, naked, lifeless body sprawled on a bed. He dropped back a step as Paul moved into the room, avoiding the officers from the medical examiner’s office who were already there snapping pictures and gathering samples.

"Same cause of death?" Paul asked, wincing at the site of rope burns on her wrists.

"I’d say so. Ligature marks on her neck, and no other sign of injuries other than ones associated with rape."

"He’s getting clumsy," Andrew suggested. "Attacking her here leaves a lot more clues."

"Clumsy means desperate," Paul said with frustration. "We need to find this bastard before he finds his next victim." He shook his head as he looked around the room. "Damn, I really thought that boyfriend was the one, but even if he didn’t have an alibi… I could see him killing the first girl to throw people off before killing his real intended victim - the girlfriend… but there’s no way he’d kill again after knowing we’re already looking at him."

"So we’re right back to square one."

"Yeah, so let’s sweep through this place and see if we can find anything."

Andrew nodded, happy to be able to leave the bedroom. He quickly made his way back down the hall and into the kitchen, noticing that Paul stayed behind. He had a way of detaching himself that Andrew had yet to master. Instead he surveyed the little kitchen and dining area. There was a bag of groceries still on the counter, and one of the cupboard doors was open. Maybe the killer had followed her home.

Aside from the groceries, nothing was out of place. Apparently the killer had rung the bell and then forced himself in and gone straight to his perverted work. Andrew wandered into the livingroom. Again, nothing was out of place, and he walked back into the hallway, his feet crunching over the broken glass. He saw Paul coming down the hall and looked up.

"They picking up any prints?" he asked.

"Looks like at least two sets right now," Paul answered. Of course one’ll be hers, so let’s hope the other one is his."

"Yeah, and let’s hope he’s got a record." The prints would be useless if the man had never been arrested for anything before.

"I think that would be asking too much," Paul said, his frustration clear. "Damn. I guess we should be thankful he took off Christmas. Bastard."

"We’ll get him, Paul. You’ve told me a hundred times: they always fuck up in the end."

"Maybe, but I’d rather not have another body to deal with before that happens."

Andrew didn’t respond. There was really nothing to say. This was certainly not how he had wanted to return to work, and the last thing he was looking forward to was another body. He could only pray that the prints would be a match to someone in the system.

"I think the guys have it under control back there. Let’s survey the neighborhood and see if anyone saw anything. Then we can head back to the office and wait for the print results. I told them to put a rush on it."

"I get the feeling you don’t want to be here any more than me," Andrew said dryly.

"You’ve got that right. Let’s just say I’d prefer to be concentrating on the little miracle back at your place, and I know you feel the same way."

"Yeah. Seeing victims… it’s never easy, but when I think about the life we’re trying so hard to save and then I see this waste…" Andrew shoved his hands into his pockets and shook his head."

"Yeah. Something like that," Paul agreed. "C’mon. Let’s get this over with so we can get home to our wives."

*****

According to the neighbors, no one had heard anything strange coming from Linda’s apartment. However, one older woman reported that she’d seen a car lurking around. She claimed that she’d seen it for the past few days. Dark color, tinted windows. She hadn’t gotten a license number, but looking at her coke bottle glasses, neither Paul nor Andrew were surprised. It wasn’t much to go on, but at least gave another clue they could pass on to their profiler. If the guy really had been around for a while then it showed clear intent. This was no random girl, picked in a moment of insanity.

Andrew heard the swears coming from Paul’s office several hours after they returned to the Bureau, and he immediately knew that the prints had been a wash. Yes, they believed they belonged to the killer, but there was no match in the system and he hadn’t been kind enough to leave any DNA for sampling.

"We need to know how he’s picking his victims," Paul announced as they poured over the files once more. "There must be something that ties them all together. Same hair stylist, same church… hell, same grocery store."

"I’ll start calling the families again and see what they can give us," Andrew offered.

"Thanks, Andrew." He looked at him regretfully. "I’m sorry that this is turning into such a long day."

"Hey, I want to catch this asshole just as much as you, Paul, and believe me, Monica understands."

"Yeah… I guess we’re lucky that way," Paul returned with a wry grin.

"Damn lucky."

*****

He watched her from the safety of the shrubs outside, just able to see her moving about the kitchen. Yes. She was perfect. Beautiful, self assured, a challenge worthy of his time and effort. Hopefully she wouldn’t come to what the last one had. The bitch had even tried to fight him, but she had been weak. So weak. He had laughed at her timid, useless attempts to break free of him as he knew she had never stood a chance. In the end, she was a lousy fuck so there had been no regret when he had finally killed her. She had been nothing more than common, but this new one was different, very different. She would be the one he would allow to live as she was smart. She would be receptive to his advances and would thrive on his attention. Yes. She would be the one he would keep for himself.

He ran his tongue along his lips as he watched her run a hand through her hair as he imagined what those tresses would feel like in his fingers. Silky. Like her skin when he would finally be able to touch her with his hands, his mouth. Fucking her would be bliss and she would have to stay with him as once would never be enough. Yes, she was the one. He had been wrong about all the others and now he only needed to bide his time until the moment was right.

*****
The New Year arrived quietly, yet peacefully in the bedroom of the two angels, where they lay snuggled close together, watching the ball drop in Times Square. Alex, Paul and Matthew had spent a good portion of the evening with them, but they were careful to not tire Monica out too much, so at the first stifled yawn from the little angel, Paul had announced that he was getting tired himself. Thankfully, their friends missed the raised eyebrow Alex shot her husband and the devilish glint in his eye as he had grinned back at her.

"Why on earth would all those people want to be smushed together in the cold, on that street for the new year, instead of watching it come in exactly like we are?" Monica mused aloud, watching the celebration that was taking place in New York. Andrew’s fingers had been absent mindedly running through her hair and she tilted her head up to look into his eyes, "I think this way is so much better."

He smiled tenderly at her and ducked his head to brush her lips with his own, "So do I, angel."

She returned his smile and rested her head against his heart once more as they fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments before she broke it once more, "So do you think it’s going to be too much?"

Andrew looked momentarily confused, "Is what going to be too much, Monica?"

"Well. Today. You had to do everything."

"Baby, I enjoyed every minute of it, especially as it was a time when you couldn’t argue with me over doing something I love to do, like taking care of you," he replied softly. "I worry more about it being too much for you, having to lie in bed for so long."

Monica emitted a little sigh but then shook her head slightly, "I’ll do whatever I have to do for her, Andrew. Whatever it takes to bring our little daughter safely into this world. Which reminds me that we still haven’t settled on a name."

No, they hadn’t. They had tossed around a few ideas off and on but nothing had felt "right" to Monica and Andrew had a feeling it had more to do with the apprehension she was feeling about the tiny life inside of her and how fragile it still was. Naming her would be permanent, and he was pretty sure that his wife wasn’t yet ready to put the last remaining piece of her heart out there while still feeling so vulnerable.

"We’ll know what to name her when the time is right, angel," He replied steadily, "And when that time comes, her name will be perfect."

Her heart ached pleasantly with her love for him as her hand brushed lightly up against his chest, tracing the familiar ripples of muscle. She hoped he wouldn’t think she was teasing him, but it had been so long since she had been able to touch him like this that now her palm moved steadily over him, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her hand.

Andrew closed his eyes, enjoying her gentle touch. Where so often, he would have found himself immediately needy for her under these circumstances, this time it was sweet bliss and filled him with complete contentment. He felt her hand grazing over his stomach, her fingertips brushing up against him, before settling for a moment against his abdomen.

He briefly thought that she had started drifting off to sleep and as he moved to pull her slightly closer, he started when he felt her hand inch down to the opening in his boxers. His eyes immediately opened as his wife’s fingers curled around him, causing his breath to catch in his throat.

"Monica! We can’t-."

Looking up at him a little grin tugged at her lips, "No. You can’t…or rather, we can’t…but she didn’t say anything about this."

Andrew frowned as he shook his head. "Angel, you don’t owe me anything for today…for any day…"

"It has nothing to do with that," Her gaze was unwavering as she continued, "This has to do with how much I love you…and how much I need to be able to touch you," She inched up and kissed him deeply, "And I do love you, Andrew. So much."

Her fingers were firm around him once more as she stroked him slowly, giving him little choice in the matter and a low groan escaped him, before Monica cut him off with another kiss that was slow and sensual and built the fire within his body. Her kiss alone was enough to drive him mad and he was struggling with his need to plunge into her depths and love her exactly the way he wanted to. But he couldn’t and her strokes began to move longer and harder, Andrew knew he would be powerless to move even if he was permitted to drive her off the edge again and again.

His eyes were closed as he felt her pushing him closer and closer to the brink of insanity and only her whispered word caused them to open once more.

"Andrew." Monica could sense how near he was to release and as he opened his eyes, she captured them with her own, wanting to see the range of emotions in his deep green eyes, while, with her own, trying to tell him of her love, her loyalty, her uncompromising devotion to him. The shared gaze was so completely intimate that he could no longer hold back and a moment later, she felt him surging again and again as happy tears filled her eyes.

Recovering, Andrew leaned in and kissed her soundly, "You don’t play fair, wife."

"Wasn’t playing," She replied as she watched him climb out of bed and walk to the bathroom, "I was loving you, husband." Her eyes twinkled happily as he shot her a grin over his shoulder.

Andrew returned to bed a few minutes later and resumed his spot, unable to help but to shake his head at the fact that Monica looked every bit as contented as she had made him feel. He stroked her cheek tenderly as her head came to rest against his heart once more, sensing that she was ready to fall asleep. Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, "And I am always loving you, angel."

*****

"Monica looked better tonight," Paul commented as he locked the door and started following Alex down the hall and upstairs, turning off lights in her wake.

"I’m surprised you noticed since you shuffled us out of there so soon," Alex teased.

"Hey!" Paul whipped his head around and glared at her. "She was tired!" His glare turned to a leer. "And anyway, I noticed you weren’t too eager to stay."

"What can I say… your eyebrow spoke to me," she said, and then gave her hips an extra wiggle as she climbed the last stair and turned to head towards the nursery.

"I’ll be waiting," he said huskily, and watched the little shiver that ran through her body.

He sauntered into their room with a smug look on his face, and a tightening feeling already beginning in his stomach. Going into the bathroom he swept all of the candles off of the tile surrounding the tub and carried them back into the bedroom. He placed them along the dressers and nightstands, then pulled back the covers and turned down all of the lights. By the time Alex arrived he was lying on the bed with his head propped on one hand and a lustful look in his eyes.

Alex let out a little gasp, followed by a chuckle as she entered the room and looked around, her eyes focusing first on Paul’s already straining erection and then at the look on his face.

"Well, it looks like someone thinks they’re getting lucky tonight," she said with a smirk.

"Yes, and that someone would be right," Paul replied. "Now get naked and get over here."

Alex laughed out loud and then raised her eyebrow and leered right back at him. "I’ll see what I can do to accommodate you."

She was only wearing jeans and a turtle neck sweater, but she undressed as if it was an outfit made of sheer silk. She was swaying to some music only she could hear, and by the time she finally revealed herself Paul was ready to just grab her and fling her down onto the bed.

"Like what you see, buster?" she asked as she put one hand on her hip and idly swept the other from her breast to the thatch of curls between her legs.

"You might say that," Paul answered in a growl. "I’d like it better if it was a close up view."

"I think that can be arranged."

She took the two steps to the bed and quickly climbed in, not at all surprised when Paul reached out to pull her close and start kissing her. They were needy, hungry kisses, not the tender and sweet ones that they usually exchanged, but the teasing on both sides had completely enflamed them.

Paul’s hand snaked down between her legs and felt her juices already dripping from her hot core. She moaned against his mouth as he pushed two fingers inside, and when he used his thumb against her little nub she began sucking on his tongue, nipping at it and then soothing and sucking on it harder. She could feel his hardness against her thigh and she longed for him to just plunge it into her, but as usual he was taking his time, stroking her deep and playing with her. He could feel her begin to tense and would back off, then start thrusting fast and hard again, nearly making her weep with need.

She finally threw her head back with a cry of his name and he pressed slightly harder on her nub and pushed a third finger inside her. The change was instantaneous and she gasped and bucked against him as her climax rippled through her body. Her arms around his neck pulled him down for another kiss that swallowed her scream.

When she opened her eyes again he was still gently pushing his fingers in and out, in and out, milking the last sensations, and looking down at her with smug satisfaction. Her eyes narrowed and he almost chuckled at the new look on her face. The look of a challenge accepted. In another second he was the one gasping in surprise as she flung out one leg to throw him off balance and then flipped him onto his back and immediately settled herself down, straddling his stomach.

"Nice move, there, Alex," Paul said with a grin.

"You ain’t seen nothing yet."

She lowered her mouth to just above his, and he expected another long, deep kiss, but at the last second she moved lower, latching her lips around one of his nearly flat nipples. Within another few seconds he was groaning, his erection becoming painful as she teased him, scooting backwards so that she was brushing against it with every move.

"Alex… baby… please…" he was begging and the words were music to her ears. He could even feel her smile against his chest as she switched to the other nipple.

He could have simply flipped her back over and plunged into her warm and ready depths, but the thought never even occurred to him as he rolled his head back and forth, drowning in the wash of sensation that was flowing over him. At last he decided to fight fire with fire and reached up to cup both of her breasts in his hands. Her nipples were already tight and hard and he rubbed his thumbs over them and then pinched them lightly, tweaking them and drawing a long rattling sigh from her chest.

"Not fair… I call interference," she gasped.

"All’s fair in love and war," he replied, and then moaned in relief as she rose up and came back down, guiding him inside and then lowering herself all the way down.

The union was so long-awaited and so needed that they both just stayed still for a minute, feeling the delicious throbbing. Alex was the first to move as she began a slow rhythm, but Paul had already taken too much. He quickly sped up and Alex was more than happy to follow, feeling her next orgasm rushing towards her. It hit her like a wave and as soon as it did she could feel him explode inside her and she smiled broadly. She loved it when they climaxed together. The sensations kept coming for long minutes afterwards and when she finally collapsed on top of him it was with an exhausted sigh.

"What’s that old saying? Whatever you’re doing as the clock strikes the new year, that’s what you’ll be doing all year?" Paul asked as he stroked her back lightly.

"So, I guess we’re in for another year of great sex, eh?"

Paul chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "No fortune telling need for that one."

"Love you, Paul," Alex said as she moved slightly to kiss the center of his chest.

"Love you too, sweetheart. Happy New Year."

*****

The next few weeks passed with agonizing slowness, both for those working on the case of the Washington Stranger, and for one little angel who was waiting for her bedroom walls to close in on her completely. Despite the quilting lessons, which were going quite well, Alex’s constant companionship during the day, Hope and Lucy’s antics as they played together and Andrew’s reassuring presence on evenings and weekends, Monica was already beginning to doubt her ability to remain in bed for another nine weeks.

She was constantly fighting letting her irritation over the situation show to her husband and friends, but there had been moments where there had been a shortness to her words. She was ashamed of those times, despite the fact that her apology was always accepted and there was little doubt that she was only one still holding onto her guilt about being short tempered to begin with. She supposed that they saw it as something they expected to happen, but in Monica’s opinion, she should be doing what needed to be done to keep her baby safe and be able to do it with a grateful heart.

Now, at the end of another long day, with Andrew downstairs cleaning up from dinner, she was unable to resist getting out of bed just long enough to stretch her legs for a moment as she no longer seemed to even be able to find a comfortable spot in bed any longer. The weakness she felt in herself frustrated her and she forced herself to take a few unsteady steps, telling herself that if she could just do that much everyday, then maybe she could slowly build up her strength again. Then when the baby was born, she wouldn’t find herself tiring so easily.

"Monica!" Andrew’s eyes narrowed, though he nearly had to keep from chuckling at the fact that she looked like a little girl who had gotten caught with her hand in the cookie jar, "What are you doing out of bed?"

Monica felt entirely helpless as he took her arm with one hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist to lead her back to bed, "I just-."

"You should have called me if you needed something, angel. You know that," He scolded gently as he helped her to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"I know, Andrew, but-." Her voice was pleading.

"You’re not supposed to be out of bed, Monica," He knelt down in front of her and his eyes widened as she looked at him through tear-filled eyes, "Baby, what is it?"

She gave a helpless shrug as the tears pushed forward and he hurriedly sat down next to her to pull her into his arms, "I…I didn’t think this would be so hard…"

"That what would be so hard, angel?" He whispered, holding her tightly, his hand making soothing circles on her back.

"Having to stay in this room all the time," Monica uttered miserably against his chest, "It feels like…it reminds me of the last time I was unable to leave a room because something was wrong with me…"

His heart clenched, knowing exactly what she was referring to. A time when her heart had been too heavy and too wounded to leave her bedroom at the farm, "Shhh. Nothing is wrong with you this time, baby. We’re only taking precautions." He hated the fact that she was remembering that horrible time and he kissed the top of her head lightly, "The end result of this is going to be so wonderful, Monica."

"I know," She replied before she fell silent for a moment before bursting out tearfully with, "I’m sorry I’m not more patient! I know I should be….that she needs me to be…"

"Sweetheart, you’re doing fine," He pulled away an inch to be able to look into her teary, brown eyes, "You’ve been so worried about me and the things I have to do, that you failed to realize that you’re the one with the far more difficult job."

"But it shouldn’t be so difficult. Alex has been keeping me busy and you gave me Hope to play with and you spend every waking moment you are home with me…I’m being so selfish. I should be thankful that I don’t have to spend the rest of my pregnancy in the hospital like some of those women we read about."

"And you can be thankful for that and still hate the fact that you have to stay in this room all the time, Monica," He felt her let out a sigh as she rested her forehead against his chest and he let out one of his own. A moment later, he was pulling away and standing up, "Wait here."

Confusion clouded her features, "Andrew?"

He grinned at her before heading to the door, "Just stay put. I’ll be right back."

Monica waited impatiently and then scolded herself for not being more patient again, but ten minutes later, her husband returned, looking rather pleased with himself.

"Okay, let’s go."

"Go?"

"Yes, go." He grabbed the extra quilt from the chair and wrapped it snugly around her, before lifting her into his arms and carrying her down the stairs and to the garage.

The car was running and when he helped her inside, Monica found it already toasty and warm. The little stool from the living room was on the floor of the passenger’s side, allowing her to be able to put her feet up so it nearly felt like she was lying in bed and Andrew covered her legs with a second blanket.

"All warm and cozy?" He asked her as she buckled her seatbelt.

Emotion was threatening to choke her, leaving her able to only nod her head before he closed her door and walked around to the other side of the car. Once he had gotten in and backed out of the driveway, she reached for his hand and gripped it tightly, "Andrew?"

Looking over at her, he flashed her a loving smile, "Just relax and enjoy the well deserved change of scenery, baby."

There were still Christmas decorations up all over DC as Andrew took his time driving around the city, managing to hit all of the most beautiful attractions such as the monuments, and Union Station, with it’s large wreaths colorfully twinkling with white lights seemed to shimmer against the still snowy backdrop. It was all lovely and peaceful and remarkably calming and Monica felt her frustrations and anxieties beginning to melt away.

Andrew watched her out of the corner of his eye, smiling at the peace he now saw in her dark eyes and he gave her hand a little squeeze, "Better, angel?"

Looking over at her husband, who filled her heart with such incredible love, the little angel smiled, "I love you so much, you know?"

His eyes were sparkling as he returned his eyes to the city street, "I do, Monica, and I love you every bit as much, if not more."

Moving ever so slightly in her seat, she rested her head against his shoulder, reminded once again, just how much God had given her when He had given him to her.

Chapter 12

Alex grinned smugly as she looked over at the wildflowers she had just set down on the table in her sewing room. She had known that last night’s sexcapades had been incredible, but Paul usually didn’t send flowers after a long, heated, lovemaking session. No, this was quite a compliment and she was unable to help but to feel rather satisfied that she indeed could be a stay at home mother and still keep her husband begging for more at night.

Hearing the door open downstairs, she quickly checked to make sure Matthew was still sleeping, before she thundered down the steps and straight into her husband’s arms where she immediately stole his breath with the long, languid kiss she offered.

"Wow!" Paul grinned when they finally came up for air, "Now that is what I call a homecoming!"

She laughed, "Oh, I think you know what that was for!"

His grin turned sly, remembering their antics from the night before, "Hmmm. Perhaps I do." He pulled her closer for another kiss, while deftly unhooking her bra through her sweater, a trick he had perfected long ago, "Matthew sleeping?" He whispered against her ear, as his hand made its way up the front of her sweater and under her bra as he rubbed his thumb over her already hardening nipple.

"Yes! Thank God!" Alex gasped, his fingers already causing a deep throbbing within her core as she decided that two could play at that game, "Why do you ask? Ya got something in mind, bub?" In one quick motion, she had unzipped his pants and maneuvered her hand through his boxers to grasp him firmly.

Paul groaned, already deciding that this was not going to be pretty. Nope, quick and sloppy suited him just fine when the need arose. "As a matter of fact, I do," he replied huskily, kissing her again as he moved them both towards the kitchen before he drew her sweater up over her head and planted both of his hands on her breasts, "Good thing you haven’t set the table for dinner yet."

"Again…thank God!" She was wet and wanting… downright needy actually. As he tweaked at her nipples, her hands somehow managed to unbutton his pants and she slid them down along with his boxers, so she could take him in hand and slowly stroke him. He was rock hard in an instant, throbbing against her touch and a growl escaped him as he took a hard nipple into his mouth and sucked it hard enough to make her cry out in delicious pleasure.

"Damn, woman…the things you do to me…" Paul was working his way up her neck, his erection straining against her stroking and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could wait.

"Paul…now! I have to have you now!" His mouth was at her other breast, sucking, lapping, as he unsnapped her jeans and roughly forced them down along with her panties. A heartbeat later, he had turned her around, bending her over the table, his hands still on her breasts as he pushed into her from behind, hearing her cry out in passion and need.

His hands were covering her breasts, kneading and pinching and Alex moved back up against him to sink him deeper into her depths as he thrust into her harder, her cries echoing through the kitchen with each stroke, with each tease to her already sensitive nipples, but he continued his assault on her and Alex knew she would have killed him if he stopped.

"Paul!" The sensations that were driving her higher and higher were beginning to overtake her and she was nearly sobbing in her need for release as she picked up the pace, nearly frenzied and when he drove into her once more, he shouted out her name as her own orgasm overtook her. The intensity of it was almost too much to take, as he continued to move in and out of her tight core, drawing it out as he surged within her and she climaxed a second time, almost as intensely.

Alex was gasping for air when he finally spun her around in his arms and held her tightly to his chest, "You okay, babe?" He asked hoarsely, recovering but still concerned.

She nodded her head before grinning up at him, "I promise never to set the table early if we can do that every day when you get home."

A laugh rumbled through him, as he ran a teasing finger up through her wetness, making her shudder, "You have yourself a deal."

*****

Another week and still they were no closer to finding the strangler, although at least Monica was one week closer to the end of the danger zone. She was at thirty-four weeks and they were hoping to delay the birth until at least thirty-six. By normal accounts, that would put the baby’s lungs at fully developed, but of course with the surgery to consider Monica was worried that it still wouldn’t be long enough. She wanted to hold out just as long as possible and thankfully she had renewed resolve to do just that. Andrew’s little gift of the ride around town had done a lot to buoy her spirits and even Alex noticed that she was much more patient and much less grumpy, particularly when it came to threading her own needle when sewing.

Of course Alex liked to attribute at least part of Monica’s change in attitude to the veritable greenhouse that her room had become. With Alex still being the smug recipient of flowers every other day or so, she had decided that they would be much more enjoyed in Monica and Andrew’s room. After all, for a "stay-at-home mom" she was spending more time out of the house than ever before, and yet she loved every minute of it.

Matthew was really beginning to become truly involved with his world, grabbing at his toys, shimmying along on the floor, and laughing at everything in sight. He kept both the women in his life completely amused, and Alex thanked God every day that she had been given the opportunity to witness it all first hand.

It was only occasionally that she would see a sort of frightened and sad look in Monica’s eyes after some little accomplishment of Matthew’s. Those were the times when she would usher the baby away for a nap or a snack down in the kitchen. She had tried to apologize and get Monica to open up to her about it the first few times, but each time Monica brushed it aside as nothing. Then she would quickly dive into some task, whether it was sewing or reading or catching up on the soap opera that she had first seen during her very first assignment with Alex. It didn’t take long for Alex to realize that some fears were just better left unspoken.

She finished putting the last touches on lunch and arranged everything on a tray just as she heard movement from upstairs. Her eyes instantly narrowed in suspicion. Monica hadn’t made any requests to move about other than to and from the bathroom, but since Alex had just been treated to a show of pregnancy hormones she wasn’t about to take any chances. She quickly shut off the stove and headed for the stairs, tray in hand.

The lunch she was carrying was actually "take-two". Alex had supposed that with all that had happened, Monica was being spared the normal pregnancy mood swings but she had been proven wrong when she brought the little angel a chicken salad sandwich. It had always been her favorite, but this time she burst into tears at the sight of it and started murmuring something about all the "wee little chickens" who were "mooshed up inside". At first Alex had been dumbstruck but she had quickly taken control, setting the tray outside the room and giving Monica a comforting and understanding hug. She was hoping that the angel wouldn’t have the same reaction to grilled cheese.

As she entered the room her eyes narrowed again at the somewhat exaggerated innocent expression on Monica’s face. "Someone was out of bed," she stated, with raised eyebrow and tiny smirk.

"Just to the bathroom, I swear!" Monica said, crossing her heart. "I just wanted to wash my face… from the ridiculous crying."

"I would have brought you a cloth. And it wasn’t ridiculous. Paul walked into my office one day and found me weeping because I’d accidentally stepped on a spider."

Monica’s eyes widened and then she gave a crooked little smile. "I have a hard time imagining you crying over anything, much less a spider."

"Oh, I’ve shed a few tears in my day… and the spider was awfully cute," Alex said with a grin.

She carefully set the tray over Monica’s legs and then grabbed one of the plates for herself and sat down on the end of the bed.

"I’m sorry you had to remake lunch," Monica said apologetically.

"Oh, don’t worry about it, sweetie. I was more in the mood for this anyway."

They were half-way through lunch before Monica felt the first twinge and at first she tried to ignore it. They had come and gone before and Dr. Klein assured her that it was perfectly normal as long as they didn’t persist. When the second contraction hit, however, she bit her lip to keep from crying out, and hastily pushed the tray away.

"Monica? What’s wrong? What’s happening?" Alex jumped up and cleared away the tray, then grabbed onto the angel’s hand.

Monica squeezed her eyes shut for a minute as she clutched her stomach. "Contractions… too close together…" she said in a gasp.

"What? No… nonono… not happening," Alex said as she shook her head. "What do I need to do? What do you need?"

The angel was already reaching for the ever present terbutaline pump and her shaking fingers managed to punch in the series of commands that Dr. Klein had taught her. "Nothing… I just did it… but now… now… it’s going to hit me in a minute."

Alex knew what she was talking about and she felt a ripple of fear pass over her. She wanted to call Andrew, and 911, and the fire department and any other service she could think of, but instead she kept a stoic, determined look on her face as she took both of Monica’s hands in hers. "You’re gonna be fine. I’m right here. Just don’t think about it. You’re gonna be fine."

Monica nodded her head mutely, but then she pressed a hand over her mouth as a contraction and the drug hit her system at the same time and she felt her heart begin to race. Her eyes grew wild even as she tried to make herself calmly take in air. It wasn’t working and almost at once she began to hyperventilate.

"C’mon, Monica… just breathe, girl… c’mon… breathe!"

"Alex… Alex… please… don’t let me pass out…" Monica gasped out desperately, but at the same time her eyes began to roll backwards and a moment later she went limp.

"No! Damnit! Don’t you dare!" She started patting her cheeks as true panic set in. "C’mon! Open your eyes! Damnit! If this is because of me upsetting you… Andrew is gonna kill me! Damn chicken salad to hell!"

Hope and Lucy had both run under the bed, and now Matthew started screaming from the guestroom. Monica had told her that these side effects were normal, that they would pass, that she would be all right, that she just needed to keep an eye on her and call the ambulance if she passed out for too long. But how long was too long? What the fuck was she supposed to do? She didn’t know, but she kept patting the angel’s cheeks and pleading with her to open her eyes. She was on the verge of tears herself when Monica finally began to stir.

"Will you stop hitting me if I open them?"

"Oh thank God… Monica… oh God… sweetie… I’m sorry… Are you okay? What do you need?"

Monica still felt that her heart was about to beat out of her chest but she struggled to breathe more normally. "I think… I think I’ll be okay now… please… just call the doctor and let her know… and I think… I think I’m gonna throw up…" the angel looked up with eyes filled with embarrassment."

"Okay… okay, that I can deal with. Just stay awake, deal?" Alex said hurriedly as she ran to the bathroom and returned with a plastic bowl. "Let me just call Andrew first…"

"No!" Monica shook her head. "Doctor first."

Alex looked at her with alarm.

"I don’t want to call him if the doctor says I’m okay. He’ll have enough to deal with when he gets home."

Alex shook her head, "Isn’t this what you did the last time?"

"That was different… it was the first time. I know what’s going on now. I’ll be okay now… I’m sure I’ll be okay."

She looked doubtful, but picked up the phone. "We’ll see what the doctor says and then I’ll make my final decision."

Alex’s decision was made a moment later as she waited on hold for the doctor and Monica started to get violently ill into the basin. There were tears streaming down the little angel’s face and Alex was finding fighting her own by this time. The hold music was intended to be soothing, but the former agent found herself wanted to pound the phone up against the wall but instead she reached for her cell phone and punched in Andrew’s cell number. Regardless of how "comfortable" Monica said she was with what was happening to her, it was still horrible and she deserved to have her husband there to help her through it.

Relief filled her when surprisingly Andrew answered and informed her he had just pulled into the driveway and a moment later, he had raced up the steps. His eyes widened slightly before he pulled it together and moved to his wife’s side, as Alex took the phone and it’s annoying hold music and went to tend to a screaming Matthew.

Monica was dry heaving by this time, while still gasping for breath and he laid his hands on her shoulders, "You’re okay, baby," He soothed gently, wiping at her tears and rubbing her back.. He continued to speak softly to her until the unbearable heaving stopped and she sank back against her pillows, completely exhausted and pale, even as her heart continued to race.

"What are you doing home?" She managed to utter weakly as he took the basin from her hands and quickly walked into the bathroom. She could tell he was shaken, but was trying very hard to appear calmer than he felt for her sake.

"I was following up on a lead in this end of town and wanted to stop in and check on you," Andrew replied as he came back into the room and sat down next to her, "Have the contractions stopped?"

Monica nodded her head tearfully. She had tried to be strong for Alex, but now with her husband here, she lowered her defenses. No matter how many times episodes like this may happen, they would always scare her and remind her of just how vulnerable their little daughter still was.

"Hey. You’re okay, baby," He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, measuring her heartbeat against his own, as he heard her breathing begin to regulate, "Just relax, angel. I’m here," He ran soothing fingers through her hair and over her back until she finally fell asleep and even then, he held her a few moments longer, allowing his own racing heart to fall back into a steady rhythm. He now understood why she had been thankful he had missed this the first time. The helpless look in her eyes alone had nearly caused him to come undone.

Kissing the top of her head lovingly, he laid her back against her pillows and smoothed the hair away from her face, "Sleep, sweetheart," He whispered and then got up and went in search of Alex.

He found her in the spare room and when he walked in, she wiped hastily at her eyes, "Is she okay?"

"Sound asleep. The question now is are you okay?" Andrew sat down next to her on the bed and peered into her blue eyes.

"Oh sure, you know me," She insisted though the tremble in her voice betrayed her.

"Alex…"

Her lower lip trembled before she burst into tears, "No…I’m not all right! It was horrible and I didn’t know what to do…I wanted to call in the National Guard, but she insisted I call the doctor instead and then I just kept getting this fucking hold music, which should be outlawed, by the way!" She sniffled and wiped at her eyes, but now that the emotions had caught up to her, the tears were unwilling to fade away. "They should outlaw chickens too, because they get all smooshed together when you make chicken salad… and then I was afraid she’d be upset about the cows with the grilled cheese… after all, she always liked chicken salad before, but today it caused her to nearly go into fucking labor and it’s all my fault!"

Despite everything, Andrew felt a chuckle rumbling through his chest and he was unable to suppress the laugh that escaped, even though Alex shot him a glare before she began to giggle through her tears, "You’re laughing at me, you big shithead!" She laughed as she punched him on the arm.

"Well, what do you expect when you start rambling about outlawed chickens?" They shared another laugh before Andrew reached for her hand, "You did everything right, Alex and I’m glad you were here for her. What did the doctor say?"

"As long as she improves, she wants to see her tomorrow or the day after, but she said this was to be expected," She wiped at her eyes and shook her head, as she gazed down at her son, who was playing with a toy on the floor. "This feels so unfair. My pregnancy was so easy and poor Monica has to go through all this. I’ll just be so glad when this hell is over and both she and the baby are all right."

"Amen to that," Andrew said on a sigh, "I hate how helpless she feels, and how helpless we all feel with having to just wait this out."

"I have to hand it to her. She was relatively calm while I was all but freaking out."

"Don’t let her fool you. She was terrified," He replied softly.

"I suppose she was, but she still handles it all like a real trooper. But then, that’s Monica, isn’t it?"

"Yes, it is." He gave her hand a squeeze, "Go home, Alex. I’m not going back in after this today. But thank you for everything you’ve been doing for her. You’ve been a God send."

"Other than the last hour, I’ve been enjoying it," Alex smiled, looking into his eyes and seeing the strain and tension that was on his face. She hadn’t noticed it before but she supposed it had been there the last few weeks, "Are you sure you don’t need me to stay?"

"I’m sure, but thank you. Go and enjoy the rest of your afternoon. I think Paul planned on leaving early today."

She nodded her head, pleased at the thought of seeing her husband sooner rather than later, "Tell Monica I love her and I’ll see her tomorrow. You take care of you both."

"I will, sweetie," Andrew replied, hugging her as they stood up.

He helped her with Matthew and followed her to the front door, exchanging just a few more words which were mostly more apologies from Alex and dismissals from Andrew. He watched her until she was safely on the road and then turned to go back upstairs to his wife.

The stairs seemed exceptionally long and he shook his head the entire time, wondering when this period of trial for them would finally end. He was strong. He could take it. So why was it Monica who had to go through all the suffering. He knew better than to question God, but he couldn’t help feeling that it was all very unfair.

"Feeling any better, Monica?" he asked as he walked into the bedroom and surveyed his wife’s pale complexion and shaking hands.

"A little bit." It wasn’t exactly a lie. Just having him home made her feel a little better.

"You don’t look better," he countered, picking up her hand and surreptitiously checking her pulse. It was still very fast and he saw that her breath was still short and shallow.

"I’ve been through it before. I know what to expect."

Her words hurt only because he hated the fact that they were true. She had already been through all this once, and now here she was going through it again.

"At least this time I don’t have stitches," she said with a weak grin.

He sat down next to her and touched her cheek gently. "You don’t have to make light of it for me, angel. I know. I know how hard this is. I’m so sorry, baby."

"I’m not," she spoke with determination. "Maybe if I wasn’t feeling horrible right now it would be because she’d died, so I will never, ever say that I’m sorry. I would be so much sorrier if she wasn’t still with me."

A look of profound peace fell over Monica’s face as she spoke and Andrew was struck not only by her words but by her calm acceptance of things as they were. "You’re right, Monica," he said quietly. "God certainly knew what he was doing making you a mother. I can’t imagine a more loving one, and you haven’t even held our daughter yet."

"I’m holding her right now," she replied with a crooked grin. "She’s closer to my heart now then she ever will be again."

Andrew smiled and took her gently into his arms for a long hug that saw her muscles relax and her breathing even out. Then he moved down, kissed her belly and laid his ear against it.

"You’d better appreciate her when you come outta there," he whispered, "and no more scares like that."

Monica’s eyes were sparkling when he looked back at them, but he could also see the redness and the exhaustion written on her face. "Why don’t you try to sleep? I know you aren’t going to want anything to eat, but I’ll make you some tea when you wake up."

"You’re not going back to work?"

"Nope. I’m home for the day."

Her eyebrows drew together. "Did Alex already leave?"

"Yes, a few minutes ago," he replied. "She told me to tell you goodbye."

"She felt pretty bad, didn’t she." The words were more statement than question.

"She was more scared than anything else, I think."

Monica let out a sigh that turned into a yawn. "I’ll have to talk to her tomorrow. I don’t want her feeling upset."

Andrew carefully pulled the covers up around her shoulders and kissed her cheek. "That’s my little wife," he murmured as he did so, and then silently left the room.

*****

Paul closed the last file and put it with the rest on the corner of his desk. He had been pouring over statements from the families all day, while Andrew drove to the few places that all of the victims had visited within the few weeks prior to their deaths. Malls, a museum, the movie theater. The only place they had all spent any amount of time at was the grocery store and hell, half the people in that area went to that store. Still, Andrew had diligently passed around the women’s photos, asking the managers if there had been any disturbances or reports of odd behavior.

Nothing.

He knew that they would be revisiting all the places again, but it was still aggravating not to have even a whiff of success. The killer had to be picking his victims somewhere. He still had a scowl on his face when he picked up the phone to call home. He wasn’t in the mood for dinner and he didn’t want Alex putting herself out for no reason.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, it’s me. I’m leaving in a few, but don’t bother with dinner," he said shortly.

"Okay. Bad day?"

"Yeah, it sucked," he replied, not even noticing that Alex’s voice lacked it’s normal spark.

"Oh… not much better here," she said quietly.

"What?" He finally caught on to the unfamiliar tone. "Alex, what’s up?"

"Nothing, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, just c’mon home, okay?"

Paul was already on his feet and grabbing his coat. "I’m on my way, babe."

When he arrived home, his eyes scanned the living room and kitchen and not seeing his wife in either of those places, he quickly headed upstairs, immediately walking to the nursery. Matthew was asleep in his crib and Alex was lying down on the daybed in the room, her ice blue eyes focused on their sleeping son.

He could immediately tell she was troubled and there was almost a look of defeat etched into her features that he found incredibly disturbing as it was so unlike her. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he reached a hand up to brush the hair from her eyes, "Baby?"

"Monica started having contractions this afternoon," She began softly, her eyes still resting on Matthew’s crib, "Then when the increase in medication kicked in, it got really bad. She was so sick, Paul, and she couldn’t breathe. She was trying so hard to stay calm and it was all I could do to keep from going to pieces."

His eyes widened, "Is she all right?"

"I think so. Andrew got there and the doctor wants to see her tomorrow just to make sure the baby is all right," Alex whispered, before falling silent for a moment. Paul reached for her hand and she gave it a little squeeze, "If I could, I’d go back in time and ask God to allow my pregnancy with Matthew to be a little rocky in exchange for some of Monica’s problems. Here I have been bitching about not getting to spend every waking moment with him and poor Monica spends her days wondering if she will ever be able to hold her daughter in her arms. She never says much about it, but I can see it in her eyes."

"Alex," He admonished softly, "You can’t trade your life for Monica’s trials, no matter how much you want to. While it is sweet of you, it isn’t what God has planned, not to mention it would never be what that little angel would want."

"I know…and it’s partially the point. She would never trade any of her suffering for anyone else’s happiness, but yet we all wish we could do it for her just because that is how she is. I just want her to be able to hold her daughter the way that I can hold Matthew and I want her to be able to feel her baby grab hold of her fingers and to be able to smell that sweet baby smell. I want all those things for her, Paul, and more."

"So you keep praying for them, sweetheart. You know God hears you," He gave her a little tug and she sat up and allowed his strong arms to engulf her. For as tough and smart assed as she could be on the outside, he knew his wife’s tender heart probably better than anyone and he knew that right now it was hurting for her best friend.

"If anything had happened to her on my watch…" Alex murmured against his shoulder.

"No one would have blamed you, babe," He interrupted, already knowing that no one would need to. She would have found a way to blame herself, "My guess is that Monica was very glad to have you there. Just as glad as I am to have you right here."

She was unable to help but to smile, "It’s nice to be ‘right here’," She replied allowing his arms to soothe away the tension that had only moments before filled her.

"That’s good to know as I happen to love you, ya big sap." He was only teasing, as much of what she had said was already mirrored in his own heart. He had seen the strain on his partner’s face the last few weeks and Andrew had been a bit on the short tempered side of late. Paul completely understood however and was always careful not to push his friend, barely able to fathom how he was continuing to show up day after day.

"I love you too, Gatlin," She replied softly, before she pulled back to look at him, "So, your day sucked too, so what happened?"

He sighed in exasperation, "Just the normal can’t catch a fucking break on this case, so nothing new really. I just want this bastard caught, to make the streets safe, to be able to tell Andrew to take a few days off and have him do it, and to be able to spend a bit more time at home with you and Matthew."

"That day will come, Paul," Alex encouraged him gently.

Smiling, he kissed her softly, "And so will the day that Monica holds her daughter in her arms."

*****

He smiled to himself, feeling more than smug. He had been right. Not only had she accepted his gifts, but she took them with her, allowing them to be within her sight all day. He had known all along she would be the one. She was worthy of his attention and he knew now that he had been wrong the other times, but they had served their purpose. They had allowed him to clearly see things as they should be.

Now it was only a matter of time. The right moment to claim her as his own and it would be the happiest moment of his life. Their physical union would be sweet and he would fuck her so good she would be begging for more. Oh, she may resist staying with him at first, but no one would be able to do her like he was able to and she would soon forget all about the other one. Yeah, he would pound into her until she was screaming…

He shook his head in disgust. He had to grip on himself or he’d be whacking off in the car again to relieve the growing need that was tight against his pants. Soon he’d have the real thing and until she accepted things completely, he already had the room in the basement ready for her. His little sex shop designed with her in mind, was perfect. He liked just going down there to sit and engage in his fantasies about her, about them. There was nothing he would not do to her and in the end she would accept…and she would love.

The time was drawing closer now and he only needed to patient a little bit longer before his fantasies would become his realities. A few more days. A week. And then on to the rest of their lives together. The streetlights were coming on and he started up the car. The cops were running around in circles but he wasn’t going to make any mistakes now. Fucking morons. He grinned just thinking about it. Somehow the irony made it that much sweeter. Blowing a little kiss towards the house he pulled away from the curb, but he didn’t turn on his headlights until he was halfway down the street.

Chapter 13

Andrew was very thankful that Monica slept for much of the late afternoon, especially when she woke up still nauseous and couldn’t even keep down the first cup of tea. Once again he couldn’t imagine her going through it on her own at the hospital and he shook his head in silence wondering if she would ever really put her needs on the same level as his. He supposed that he would have a lifetime to make her realize that very basic truth.

The second cup of tea, made at nearly midnight, she managed to hold onto, and it was around that time that her heart rate began to stop it’s frequent racing. While Monica saw that as the most trivial of the side effects it was still the one that worried Andrew the most. Seeing her heart monitor beeping wildly in the hospital and remembering the doctor’s warnings about possible heart failure kept his stomach tightly clenched. He couldn’t fully relax until she curled into his arms and announced that she thought she would be able to sleep through the night.

He, however did not. With her head nestled on his shoulder and his hand resting on her belly he dozed fitfully, but by four in the morning he knew that sleep was a lost cause. He spent the rest of the time watching the gently rise and fall of her breast as she breathed easily and peacefully. He remembered watching five o’clock tick by, but then his next awareness was her stirring in his arms and he blinked his eyes open to the bright sunshine streaming over their bed.

"Did you sleep all right, angel?" he asked as he eased her onto her side of the bed so that he could sit up and look her over properly.

"Better than I thought I would," she replied, both hands over her stomach, feeling the baby move.

"That’s good. Let me just grab a shower and we can head into the doctor’s office to have you checked out."

She looked at him silently and he knew that it wasn’t going to be that easy.

"What?" he asked with a resigned sigh. That look meant that she was going to get whatever she asked for.

"I don’t want you taking off any more time that you don’t need to. Alex can drive me. We’ll be fine. It’s just a precaution anyway. I haven’t had a contraction since I took that boost of medicine and I think she’s doing somersaults in here so that must be a good sign."

Andrew just stared at her, meeting her eyes and trying to judge if this was another attempt to shield him from whatever unpleasantness she mistakenly thought was her burden alone. Surprisingly he saw no such sign.

"Are you sure? This is what you want?"

"I’m sure. I know how frustrated you and Paul have been, and I want you two to be able to catch the person your after so that you can both have some peace. I’m going to need you after the baby is born too, ya know."

He looked slightly unconvinced but nodded his head anyway. "All right. You have a deal on one condition. You have to call me if there are any problems at all."

"Deal," she readily agreed.

"Then I’ll get myself ready for work and carry you downstairs to wait for Alex. Are you going to be all right getting out of the car there?"

"I’m sure I’ll be able to manage," she said with a touch of sarcasm. "It’s a hospital, you know. Lots of strong orderlies running around."

"Yeah, well, I guess I’ll trust them… this time."

*****

Five hours later and Alex had barely said ten words. Dr. Klein had reassured Monica that the baby was still fine and that everything was progressing better than they could hope for. The little angel had been elated at the news and had assumed that it would lighten Alex’s mood as well, but the exact opposite seemed to have happened. Her long fingers were clutching at the steering wheel and she kept both eyes glued to the road despite the fact that the traffic was extremely light.

Monica shifted slightly and that brought Alex’s attention to her immediately. "Are you okay? Everything all right? Do I need to turn around?"

She didn’t say anything for a minute, but then she stretched out one hand to squeeze her best friend’s arm. "I’m fine, Alex. Didn’t you hear the doctor?"

"Yeah, but you were fine yesterday too. I don’t want to take any chances. Do you?" her tone of voice bordered on accusatory and Monica was surprised.

"No, of course not, but I’m not."

"I think you should get a nurse to stay with you at the house," Alex suddenly blurted out.

"What? Alex, no. I don’t need a nurse. Don’t be silly!"

"Sure you do! What if that all happens again? I was pretty useless yesterday. Thank God the medicine worked and Andrew came home when he did. A nurse would be able to do all the things I can’t. She’d know all the things I don’t."

"Alex, you know enough. I don’t want some stranger in the house taking care of me. I want you. I trust you. You were perfect yesterday. You handled everything. You even managed to call the doctor, and Andrew at the same time!"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Yeah, some skill. I can dial two phones. Whoop-de-doo."

Monica cocked her head so that she could study Alex’s face and her lips pressed into a thoughtful line as she did so. "This is about more than yesterday."

"Huh? No… it isn’t. Wasn’t yesterday enough?"

Monica continued to stare at her with her best large, brown, doe eyed expression.

"Maybe there’s more to it," Alex finally admitted.

"What? Do you not want to come over any more? Because I would completely understand that. All you have to do is tell me."

"No!" Alex exclaimed, then repeated more softly. "No, that isn’t it. I’m so grateful to at least be able to help you out a little bit."

"Then what is it?"

"I already talked to Paul about it, and you’re gonna tell me I’m stupid too."

"I would never say that," Monica replied.

"Fine." Alex took a deep breath. "I feel guilty."

"Guilty? Alex, that’s just stupid," Monica spoke without thinking and then immediately clapped her hands over her mouth.

"See? I told you so!"

Monica couldn’t help a little giggle that escaped as she lowered her hands. "All right, maybe you were right. But, Alex… guilty? For what? You’ve been nothing but wonderful! I couldn’t have asked for a better friend."

"Guilty because I had it so easy, and here you are going through hell, and let’s face it… you’re a damn-sight better person than I am. Sheesh, all you have to do is listen to my language to tell that," she said with another roll of her eyes.

"Alex, now you are just being silly. You… you’re a beautiful person, and I don’t mean the outside of you, I’m talking about everything you are. I’m happy that things went so well for you and Paul and Matthew."

"Of course you are. That’s because you’re perfect."

Monica shook her head. "I could point to at least three things I did just since finding out about my baby’s problem that would contradict that. No one is perfect except God."

"Maybe, but no one deserves to have an easy pregnancy more than you. You’ve already been through…"

"I’ve been through exactly what I needed to go through to get to where I am today," Monica cut her off. "And in case you’d forgotten, that is deliriously happily married, surrounded by people who love me, and carrying a beautiful little girl within me."

Looking over at Monica, Alex was almost surprised to see the truth of her words written across her delicate features. "You really are happy," she said softly.

"Perfectly. I can’t say that being cooped up all the time has been a joy, but over the past little while I’ve come to realize just how lucky I am. For everything."

"See. That’s what I’m talking about. Perfect," Alex said with a smirk.

"So, can we not talk about nurses any more?"

"Okay, no more nurse talk. I guess you’ll just have to put up with me."

"Good, because I’ve just gotten used to the way you make chicken salad," Monica said with a wink, and then they both started laughing like college-age girls on a road trip.

*****

Paul grumbled to himself as he forced himself to go over the reports a second and then a third time. They had to be missing something. He could feel it in his gut and it was eating away at him slowly. Glancing up at the clock, he silently willed Andrew to get his ass back to the office so they could shoot ideas back and forth. Anything was better than looking at this mound of paperwork a moment longer.

Since last week, when Monica had felt the contractions, his partner hadn’t been himself. Well, he had been even less of himself than he had been since this whole nightmare for he and Monica had started. It was obvious Andrew wasn’t getting much sleep, despite the doctor’s reassurances that the baby was fine, but Paul supposed he couldn’t blame him. After all, Alex had been considerably rattled by the whole experience so it went without saying that Andrew would even be more affected by it.

The angel had trouble sitting still at work, probably wanting to do anything to pass the time away until he could get home to Monica where he could keep a protective eye on her. Yes, Andrew remained loyal to his job, but only until quitting time and Paul certainly couldn’t blame him. Having Alex and Matthew had reminded him that some things were simply more important.

But now, Andrew had gone out to the victim’s homes for one last look around, claiming he needed to get out and get some air and Paul had known better than to argue. His partner looked like hell, and at the very least some fresh air would be a good idea.

He slammed the file closed and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes against the tension headache that was beginning to form. This case had dragged on for too long and too much time had elapsed since the last murder, which told him that either the bastard was lying low, or targeting his next victim. They needed a break, even a tiny one.

"Paul."

His eyes snapped open at the edge to Andrew’s voice and he sat up in his chair, mentally shaking his head. His friend looked more than rough these days and he was looking forward to giving him a few weeks off once the baby was born, "Buddy, what is it?" He asked, trying to read his friend’s expression, "Is Monica all right?"

"Monica?" His eyes widened and Paul realized he had just hit the panic button, "Why? Did she call? Is she having contractions?"

"No," He shook his head now at his own stupidity, "I’m sorry, Andrew. Damn. I just thought…you come in here looking so intense and I thought maybe you had called her," He watched Andrew relax as much as he had been allowing himself to relax lately, "Besides, I’ve been sitting here thinking about her myself."

"Welcome to my world," Andrew replied, feeling his heart slow back to a normal rhythm as he took a seat across from Paul and reached into his jacket pocket, "My intensity was due to the fact that we might have something."

Paul sat up even more in his chair, "Okay, you have my undivided attention." He watched as Andrew laid out several cards on the table. Florist cards. Moving to the edge of his chair, Paul surveyed them each closely. Each one had the same inscription.

"Love, Forever."

"You found a few of these in each of the girl’s places?"

"Yes. In the garbage can to be exact. Doesn’t appear to be a welcome advance."

"He was stalking them," Paul stated angrily, "They probably didn’t even know who the hell he was."

"I think the broken in door at the last house was an indication of that," Andrew remarked, "The envelopes are all from the same place. The florist at Lucky’s Grocery."

"Andrew, you’re a fucking genius," Paul was already picking up the phone and looking up the number for the store simultaneously, "Let’s hope they keep a log of their deliveries. If the asshole was charging them to a credit card, we could get an address."

"Then we could finally close this case," Andrew leaned back in his chair, feeling too exhausted to be cocky about his discovery. All that mattered was solving this so he could welcome the arrival of his daughter and having his wife out of danger, "I was starting to think maybe you were the killer, Paul," He grinned as his friend waited on hold.

"Me?"

"Yeah. With all the flowers you've been sending Alex, it seems that the grocery isn't the one who is lucky."

Andrew sucked in a sharp breath as he watched the color drain from Paul’s face, "I haven’t sent her any flowers lately, Andrew. What the hell are you talking about?"

"She’s been bringing the flowers you sent to our place, as she spends so much time there. She knows Monica enjoys them as well. Hell, I had wanted to send Monica some, but there hasn’t been any room for anymore!"

"Son of a bitch!" Paul slammed down the phone and immediately dialed Andrew’s place, "She’s his next fucking victim, Andrew!"

The realization hit him like a cold shower. Alex was the next victim. Alex was spending nearly all of her time at their place. With Monica. He was immediately standing, ready to bolt out the door.

Paul quickly followed, "No answer! Monica is bedridden, so why the hell aren’t they answering!" His mind was racing and he suddenly felt sick, "Let’s go. I’ll call Adams from my cell and have him do the trace with the florist."

*****

"You’re sure you’re feeling all right?" Alex asked for the tenth time that day. She was just about ready to head downstairs to make lunch but ever since the whole contraction issue, she was nervous about leaving the little angel, even to go downstairs.

"I’m sure, Alex," Monica laughed, shaking her head, "Go. Make lunch. Call your mom to check on Matthew while you are at it. I’ve missed him today."

The other woman grinned sheepishly, "Yeah, me too, but I promised him to her once a week so she doesn’t feel neglected. I shouldn’t really complain as I have him the other six days of the week."

Monica sighed and nodded, actually thankful that she had no mother she would have to share her daughter with. While she found the relationship of grandmother to grandson lovely, she didn’t think she would take too well to not having her baby with her all the time. "Yes, you do have a point," she agreed, scratching Hope behind the ears as the puppy lay on the bed beside of her.

"Well, he’ll be back with us tomorrow, and you can pinch his little cheeks to your heart’s content."

Monica smiled and her eyes sparkled. "I do like those chubby little cheeks."

"Of course you do. Everyone does," Alex grinned as she ruffled Hope’s fur. "Now just sit tight and I’ll be back in a few."

She closed the door slightly as she left, leaving it open enough so that she would be able to hear Monica if she called. She was taking no chances.

Wandering through the main floor, she took a few minutes to straighten things up. For the most part it was like a ghost town, because both she and Andrew had spent nearly all their time in the bedroom, leaving the rest of the rooms looking untouched except for the fine layer of dust. Only the study showed any real signs of use, and Alex quickly picked up the crumpled paper balls that had missed the trashcan and gathered up the two coffee mugs that had managed to accumulate beside the computer monitor. She chuckled as she noticed that each one was only half empty. Clearly he wasn’t as devoted to the coffee bean as his wife was.

She had boiled a half dozen eggs to make egg salad and she hoped that Monica wouldn’t have a chicken salad flashback due to the poultry connection. The radio played soft music in the background and she hummed along as she worked. She had to admit that aside from Monica’s one scare, things had been going well. Monica was just finishing up the binding on her quilt, Hope was completely housebroken, and after a month with Matthew she couldn’t imagine being more fulfilled. She was almost beginning to think that maybe starting to try for another little one might not be a bad idea.

The plates were all set out on the counter and Alex placed the sandwiches on them and was just about to pour out some milk when the doorbell rang. Her forehead crinkled up as she wondered who it might be. Checking the clock she noticed that it was almost one o’clock. Ray had stopped by a few times after the radio show, so it was possible he was checking in on his favorite little co-host.

She hastily wiped her hands on the dishtowel and jogged towards the front of the house as the bell sounded again. When she looked through the peep-hole she was surprised to see a man standing there with a large bouquet of roses and a smile spread across her face.

"Hi there!" she said as she pulled the door open.

"Hello, Alex," the man gave a slow smile and Alex felt herself grow slightly unsettled. There was nothing wrong with him, but something in his eyes made her want to get rid of him as soon as possible.

"I guess these must be for me," she said as she reached for the flowers. "Thank you so much."

"No, thank you," he replied.

Alex gave him a slightly confused look and started to shut the door. "Have a nice day, now," she said, keeping the upbeat tone in her voice, but his hand around her wrist a moment later made her let out a startled cry. "What are you doing?" With one arm filled with flowers she was taken off guard and he pushed himself inside and had his arm around her neck faster than she would have imagined possible.

"Alex?" Monica’s voice carried down from the bedroom. She had heard the doorbell and expected a visitor, but Alex’s stifled scream made every muscle in her body tense. "Alex! What’s wrong?"

"Now look what you did! You shut the fuck up, do you hear me? Or do you want me to kill her? That what you want? I’ll slit her fucking throat and then cut that damn baby out of her while she’s bleeding to death. That make you happy?"

"No! No, no, no… please… please don’t hurt her. Please, I’ll do whatever you want, just leave her alone." Alex was begging and she had never begged for anything before in her entire life. What she wanted to do was kick him in the groin and then jab her thumbs into his eyes, but his arm around her throat was barely letting her breath and she knew he could snap her neck in an instant if he wanted to. She had to stay calm. She had to just stay calm and wait for an opportunity.

But suddenly there was the sound of tiny paws clattering down the stairs and then Hope was bounding into the living room barking and barking and circling them. The man kicked out at the puppy, catching her in the ribs and sending her across the room as she let out a howl and then bolted out of the room.

"Alex! Hope! What’s wrong? What’s going on!" Monica was calling and Alex could tell that she was already half way down the stairs.

"Please Monica, don’t come down here. Don’t come down here," she begged under her breath.

"Yeah, you’d better pray she doesn’t come in here," he hissed into her ear as he tightened his hold on her.

The angel’s calls continued to get louder however, and he pulled Alex with him against the wall. Suddenly Monica’s calling was interrupted with a short cry and the sound made Alex’s stomach turn. She recognized that cry.

"Please… please just let me go. I have to help her! I have to!" Alex’s whispered pleadings fell on deaf ears and she heard Monica call her name again as she approached the living room.

The angel stepped into the room and Alex saw that she was clutching her stomach with one hand and the terbutaline pump with the other. Alex wanted to scream at her to run, to get the hell out, to call Andrew and Paul, but she never even got the chance. Her captor raised his arm and brought it down against the side of Monica’s head and she fell bonelessly to the floor with no more than a startled cry.

"No!!!" Alex screamed as she struggled and was rewarded with a blow to the face that stunned her long enough for him to pull her close again, and this time she felt the knife pressed hard against her side.

"Alex, Alex, Alex. This isn’t the way I wanted things to go. This isn’t the way I wanted them to go at all. But we have plenty of time, sweetheart."

The way he said her name made her want to throw up, but when he called her sweetheart, the first pet name Paul had ever given her, desperate, panicked tears sprang to her eyes. They didn’t have time to fall, because in the next instant he struck the back of her head with the fist that held the knife, and she collapsed into his waiting arms.